17 Guaranteed Ways to Land on Someone’s Unwanted List

self insemination kit

My close friend and I have a catchphrase we use when we encounter frustrating people or situations: “I can’t stand people.” When someone continuously tests our patience, we may forgive them, but we certainly don’t forget. We’ve even compiled a list of individuals who have rubbed us the wrong way. Once you find yourself on this roster, good luck getting off it.

I maintain several lists detailing the folks who’ve irritated me, spanning my job, school parents, and a special one just for the unhelpful staff at my internet provider. While I like to think of myself as a generally patient person, there are specific offenses that will get you a glaring look and your name inked on my “You’re getting on my nerves” list.

Yes, I’m quite the curator of a lengthy yet distinguished enemy list. In fact, I might need a dedicated notebook just for my collection of problematic people. And don’t worry; you’re probably not on it… yet. However, if you happen to do any of the following, consider yourself warned:

1. Ring my doorbell during nap time. Seriously? I’ll remember that when your little one finally drifts off to sleep after five restless days.
2. Leave a public toilet seat wet. Just sit down like everyone else and spare us the uncomfortable experience of sitting on a germ-infested seat. If you sprinkle, please wipe it up.
3. Invite me to a direct sales party. I’m not interested in your “journey,” and no, I don’t need a lipstick that lasts for 42 days.
4. Send mass Facebook messages to dozens of friends. It’s often a ploy for some kind of party where I’m expected to buy something. No one enjoys the barrage of notifications.
5. Speak ill of me behind my back. If you can’t voice your complaints to my face, then you’ll find yourself on my “Manure Manifest.”
6. Fail to reciprocate playdates. I love hosting your kids, but how about you take mine for a change? Otherwise, you might find your spot on my Stool Register.
7. Engage in humblebragging. Just don’t.
8. Exhibit fake friendliness. I have no time for insincerity. If you can’t be genuine, you’re at the top of my list.
9. Constantly complain. We get it; parenting is tough, but not everyone needs to hear the same grievances repeatedly.
10. Show an interest in the Kardashians. I can’t with that, and now you’re on my list.
11. Support Trump. If you bring up “But her emails!” you’ll swiftly find a place on my extensive list.
12. Throw colleagues under the bus. There’s enough success to go around, so don’t step on others to climb the corporate ladder.
13. Assume I’m available to babysit your kids. I’ll help in emergencies, but don’t take advantage of my availability.
14. Lie to me. Just don’t. It’ll land you on a special section of my list reserved for deceitful individuals.
15. Use “reply all” when a simple reply to the sender suffices. Please spare us the inbox clutter.
16. Refuse to tip. Tip your server; it’s basic decency. Don’t tell me about your bad experience; just do the right thing.
17. Comment on articles without reading them. If you haven’t read the piece, please don’t weigh in.

Avoiding my list is simple: don’t act like a complete jerk, follow basic internet etiquette, and give tips to your servers. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to stock up on notebooks for my ever-growing list.

For more insights, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy at the CDC, and visit our other blog post on home insemination for more tips and guidance.

Summary

Navigating social situations can be tricky. It’s easy to find yourself on someone’s unwanted list by committing various social faux pas. From being inconsiderate during nap times to lying and assuming babysitting favors, there are many ways to irritate others. However, a little decency and respect can go a long way in maintaining good relationships.