My young son trails behind me from the bathroom door to my closet, enthusiastically narrating one of his classic kid stories. I clutch my towel with one hand while rummaging for my underwear with the other. I pause to inform him, “I’m getting dressed now.” He responds with a casual “K” and continues his tale as I let my towel slip and slip into my undies. He doesn’t gawk or look away. In fact, there’s zero sign of discomfort or curiosity about my naked body.
I’m not at all bashful about being nude in front of my children. While I don’t make a show of it or wander around our home in the buff, if they’re present and I need to change, I don’t usher them out. I just let them know I’m about to change and that they can leave or stay. They’ve seen me without clothes since infancy, so it’s not a big deal for any of us.
My daughters are both teenagers, and my son is 8. We’ve always discussed bodies in a straightforward manner, using the correct terms and expressing awe about all the remarkable things our bodies can do. It’s important to me that my kids cultivate a healthy appreciation for their bodies, and I lead by example, treating my physical self as an amazing tool and showing no shame about its appearance.
When they were very young, it seemed both silly and unnecessary to actively avoid being naked around them. After all, they breastfed, so they were up close and personal with my breasts during those early years. I shared baths with them while they were toddlers, and let’s be honest, they’ve seen me use the bathroom enough times to be familiar with my body from the start. It just didn’t make sense to suddenly start hiding parts of me that they had already seen, as long as they felt comfortable.
From a young age, they understood that showing our private parts to others isn’t acceptable, and we’ve had the “body safety rules” talk more times than I can count. However, changing clothes or showering has always been in a category of its own; just as their nudity in front of me has never felt inappropriate, neither has my nudity in front of them.
As they grew, there came a time when they desired privacy for bathroom breaks or when getting dressed. For my daughters, this need arose around the onset of puberty. My son is starting to feel that way with others but doesn’t seem to mind me seeing him naked. I know there will come a day when he’ll ask me to leave the room, and I’ll respect that without hesitation. I suspect it might happen sooner than it did with my girls.
I’m grateful to have an open and communicative relationship with my kids. We’ve always made sure they know that no subject is off-limits, and we consistently respect their choices regarding their bodies. Because of this, they’re candid about what they feel comfortable with. Even as they’ve grown older and wanted more privacy, they’ve never expressed any discomfort with seeing me naked. They’re quick to offer me privacy if I request it, but it’s no biggie if I don’t.
My perspective has also been shaped by observing how nudity is perceived in other cultures. After living in Japan for a year post-college, I experienced the onsen — a gender-segregated public hot spring where every woman and girl was nude. The experience of being naked among strangers without it feeling strange was liberating.
The Scandinavian approach to family nudity is another influence. In homes across Sweden and Finland, nudity is simply not an issue. They sauna together without any coverings. They aren’t exhibitionists wandering around nude in public, but within family spaces, casual nudity is perfectly normal. It’s clear that there’s nothing inherently wrong with children seeing their parents naked.
I believe that allowing my kids to see me naked can help reduce their natural curiosity about bodies. If kids don’t see real, adult bodies, how will they understand what to expect as they grow and change? Drawings in anatomy books? Movies? Porn? That hardly seems healthy. I’d prefer my kids — both my daughters and my son — to see a normal woman’s body with all its “imperfections,” and to see that woman embracing her awesomeness.
As long as you and your kids are comfortable, there’s nothing wrong with them seeing you naked. Follow their cues, do what feels right for all of you, and don’t let anyone turn a little natural nudity into something it’s not.
In summary, being open about nudity in the family can foster comfort and healthy attitudes towards bodies. Kids can learn to accept their own bodies and those of others through normalizing nudity in a safe, respectful environment.