During my first-grade “Career Day,” while my classmates donned lab coats and business suits, I stood out in my everyday attire, complete with an apron and an armful of Cabbage Patch Kids. My dream was simple: to grow up and nurture a family and a home.
At that age, my aspirations seemed innocent and charming. Kids are known for their shifting ambitions—one moment they want to be astronauts, the next, zookeepers. But as I grew older, my desire remained steadfast. I dreaded home economics class, where the lessons in baking and sewing felt less like preparation for my future and more like a distraction from my daydreams of creating a warm home.
With time, I discovered that sharing my dream of being a stay-at-home mom was often met with skepticism. If I had expressed a desire to become a physicist or a corporate lawyer, I would have received cheers and encouragement. Instead, when I revealed my true aspirations, I was often met with raised eyebrows and forced smiles. Some well-meaning folks even suggested I was “squandering my potential” and urged me to aim higher—like I was somehow less ambitious for wanting to stay home and raise my kids.
This negativity stung.
I let the critics sway me and enrolled in a prestigious all-girls college celebrated for its feminist values. Surrounded by ambitious go-getters, I loved hearing that women could achieve anything they desired—except, of course, being a full-time mom. In that environment, my dream felt akin to announcing I wanted to be a mob boss. I couldn’t shake the feeling that not wanting a traditional career was a glaring flaw. I pursued a major in psychology but left feeling unprepared for what I really wanted.
While I had plenty of strong, career-driven role models—my grandmother was a businesswoman with a master’s degree—I found myself admiring the other grandmother who dedicated her life to home and family. She was a whirlwind of activity, tirelessly cooking, gardening, and maintaining her home with grace and determination. Her home was a sanctuary, and I longed to create that same atmosphere one day.
Yet, as I transitioned into adulthood, society’s perception of stay-at-home moms shifted dramatically. The idea of a woman finding fulfillment in the home became somewhat taboo. Now, the phrase “stay-at-home mom” too often evokes stereotypes of laziness or lack of ambition.
Let me be clear: I’m not advocating for a retro vision of womanhood where one’s sole purpose is to cook casseroles and fetch slippers. This isn’t the 1950s! We are fortunate to have the freedom to choose our paths—whether that’s raising children, writing code, or advocating for social change.
I firmly believe that those drawn to domestic life shouldn’t feel inadequate or dismissed. While the cultural shift has empowered many, it has also left those of us who choose to stay home feeling undervalued. Critics may argue that my choice holds women back, but I reject that notion.
Being a stay-at-home mom is no walk in the park. It’s a demanding job that requires hard work, dedication, and resilience. I refuse to feel guilty about my “lack of direction” because I excel at what I do. Transforming my home into a haven of love and security for my family is a full-time commitment—one that brings me immense joy.
I may not be changing the world in the traditional sense, but I’m nurturing the lives of those who matter most to me. Who knows what they will achieve in the future? When I say, “I’m a stay-at-home mom,” I no longer feel the need to follow it up with, “but I’ll get a job once the kids are in school.”
Just as nurses don’t apologize for not being doctors, and architects don’t feel the need to justify not being builders, I won’t apologize for choosing to be the best wife and mother I can be.
If you’re interested in more about the journey of parenthood, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. And for those looking for the right tools for the journey, you can find more information about home insemination kits here.
In summary, I embrace my role as a stay-at-home mom with pride. It’s not about societal expectations or judgments; it’s about fulfilling my passion and creating a loving environment for my family.