Thursday mornings are a real struggle for my marriage. If we ever part ways, we might just say, “Thursday mornings did us in.”
I’d love to point fingers at the trash, but I think it’s mostly our attitudes that need some serious work. My husband, Tom, enjoys a slow, peaceful start to the day, which flies right out the window on Thursdays. For some inexplicable reason, all the chaos of our lives seems to condense into a 30-minute whirlwind of disaster every single Thursday morning.
I wake up feeling okay, but then I remember that the kids’ musical instruments need to be packed, that they’re always against school lunch on Thursdays, and that I have notes to write for the bus drivers. Oh, and it’s garbage day, which means I have to wrestle with a mountain of trash, including the mystery leftovers at the back of the fridge. On top of that, everything seems to go haywire — Cheerios are everywhere, dishes shatter, compost bags leak their gross contents, and the kids suddenly decide that today is the perfect day to drive each other crazy. By the time I stumble out of bed, I’m convinced I’m handling it all solo.
But that’s not entirely fair to Tom. He’s a supportive, involved husband and father, yet I trick myself into thinking I’m all alone in this chaos. Sure, we could plan better and keep things organized, but let’s be real: we’re a hot mess.
On days like these, we both forget that we’re in this parenting and marriage adventure together. Instead of focusing on what we’re doing right, we tend to nitpick each other’s shortcomings. We slip into survival mode, where it’s every person for themselves until we finally make it out the door.
As we grumble about one another, it’s clear that complaining rarely gets us anywhere. “I need your help today,” I say, juggling a recycling bag while trying to fuel up on caffeine.
“You’re always so wasteful,” he retorts, forcefully tossing Tupperware into the sink.
“Yelling about food waste isn’t helping.”
“You’re just cranky on Thursdays.”
“It’s because I can’t stand you on Thursdays.” I don’t actually say that last part, but after years of marriage, Tom knows how I feel.
On those chaotic Thursday mornings, we forget that we made a commitment to be partners. We lose sight of the fact that we’re on the same team, and why are we treating each other like adversaries? If we’re not working together, then what’s the point?
Too many couples keep mental scoreboards, comparing efforts and tallying up who’s done more. It starts to feel like a competition instead of a partnership: who gets more time with friends, who gets to sleep in, who did more chores. It’s exhausting and leaves everyone feeling resentful — kind of like us on those hectic mornings.
But we’ve decided to change that. We’ve promised to remember that even on those chaotic mornings when everything seems to go wrong, we can take a moment to pause. Sometimes we slap each other on the back and even share a laugh amidst the spilled cereal and trash chaos.
Recently, I had to rush out of town to help my mom in the hospital. Tom didn’t hesitate; he simply said, “Go, I’ll handle everything.” And he even learned how to style our daughter’s hair — a task she’s incredibly picky about — for school picture day.
That’s what marriage is all about: being there for your partner when they need you the most, offering support and validation during tough times. It’s a partnership, not a competition.
Of course, it also involves tackling stinky garbage together while managing busy mornings with sleepy kids, and that part is still a work in progress. After all, we all have our struggles.
If you’re interested in more insights about marriage and parenting, check out our post on home insemination at intracervicalinseeminatio.com or visit Make A Mom for expert advice. For additional information about pregnancy and home insemination, Genetics and IVF Institute is an excellent resource.
In summary, marriage can be challenging, especially when life gets hectic. However, by remembering that we’re partners in this journey, we can navigate the chaos together, support one another, and keep the love alive even on those tough days.