Jamie Bell from Ohio wonders: How do you handle a picky eater? Should you let them stick to only the foods they like or insist that they eat what’s put in front of them, even if it leads to a mealtime showdown?
Oh, Jamie… It feels like you were eavesdropping on my recent conversation with my mom, who scolded me for telling my 5-year-old that I wouldn’t whip up a different meal than what I had prepared. My mom confessed she couldn’t rest knowing that I had other food options available but was choosing not to serve them. I replied, “We just have different parenting styles, Mom. Besides, I sleep like a log, and the kids are thriving, so…”
We’ve all heard the excuses our little ones throw out to avoid trying new foods:
- “I just know I won’t like it.”
- “It looks gross.”
- “It smells funny.”
- “It’s too mushy/cold/sweet.”
- “I’ll try it when I grow up.”
- “That smells like something that came from a toilet.”
- “It’s too tangy.”
- “That looks like it could make me sick.”
Picky eaters can turn meal times into a battlefield for everyone involved. We want our kids to be strong and healthy, and wouldn’t it be wonderful if they would eagerly devour everything we put on their plates? Who wouldn’t want their kids to enjoy a colorful array of fresh fruits and vegetables or any chicken that isn’t shaped like a dinosaur? For most children, though, their taste buds lean more towards fast food than gourmet cuisine, and getting them to try something new can feel like trying to see the sun while standing in a dark room.
I used to negotiate, plead, and sometimes even bribe my kids to “just take one tiny bite!” Only to be met with whining, tears, and a lot of frustration — most of it coming from me. It was exhausting. Nowadays, I’ve decided to take a different route with my own picky eaters, and this is what Jamie Bell does:
When I prepare a meal — and trust me, I’m not dishing out anything exotic like snails or liver — my kids can simply eat what I’ve made or not. There’s no more bargaining, negotiating, or stress when it’s time to eat.
As parents, we often have to choose our battles. For me, arguing with my kids about food is not a hill I’m willing to die on. I’ve discovered that the less I push, the less they resist.
Here’s how it typically unfolds at my place: After cooking, I ask if they want to try what’s for dinner. Usually, they’ll request a taste, and surprisingly, they often end up eating what I’ve prepared. If they decide against it, they have the option to make themselves something else — but it’s got to be reasonably healthy and approved by me or their dad. No, they can’t just grab a bag of chips and call it dinner.
If they choose to whip up an alternative meal, they’re also responsible for cleaning up the mess they make. Of course, this works best for older kids who can handle the stove, but even my 5-year-old can manage to grab a piece of fruit or a yogurt from the fridge if she opts out of the delicious casserole I made.
Now, there are times when special circumstances come into play. There’s a big difference between a “picky eater” and a child (like my 8-year-old) who has sensory processing issues and food aversions. If you’re parenting a child like this, you know it requires a tailored approach. My son isn’t turning his nose up at my casserole just to be difficult — he has genuine sensitivities, and I need to be understanding of that. For now, I’ll prepare meals I know he’ll eat. But once he’s old enough to navigate the kitchen, he’ll be expected to make his own meals too.
As for the rest of my kids, they get to figure it out themselves. Not in the mood for my delicious casserole? No problem — more for me! But don’t even think about asking for a sandwich. I made a casserole, and that’s what’s on the table.
I’m not a short-order cook, and I refuse to engage in long-winded coaxing sessions. If they choose to eat Greek yogurt and carrot sticks for dinner every night until they head off to college, that’s their choice. It’s more than some kids have, and it saves us all from a lot of frustration.
My kids get to make their own (within reason) meal choices, and I get to keep my sanity. It’s a win-win deal! Most kids aren’t going to “eat the rainbow” as the USDA suggests. So, I guess the best we can hope for is that maybe they’ll “taste the rainbow” if we let them dip their veggies in melted candy, but that’s probably not the healthiest option.
If your child is an adventurous eater who willingly tries new foods, please share your secrets — I’d love to hear them! Just kidding, my method works for us, but I’ll pretend to be interested. I can almost hear my mom shaking her head in disbelief as she reads this. Different strokes for different folks, Mom. Love ya!
If you’re interested in more about parenting challenges, check out our other blog post here. And to learn more about at-home insemination, consider visiting Make-a-Mom for some great resources. You might also find this podcast helpful for insights on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Jamie Bell discusses her approach to managing a super-picky eater at home. Instead of negotiating over food, she has established a system where her kids can either eat what she makes or prepare something else that is reasonably healthy. This method reduces stress at mealtime and allows children to make their own choices while promoting independence. Jamie acknowledges the difference between picky eaters and those with genuine food aversions and emphasizes the importance of understanding individual needs.