My partner Alex and I are parents to three lively kids. After over ten years together, we’ve come to realize that our parents have wildly different styles when it comes to being grandparents.
Alex’s folks are the classic type who say, “Why don’t you just drop off the kids at our place? We miss them!” They then proceed to load our kids up on candy, fast food, and endless screen time, returning them to us on a sugar high, entirely disregarding our family rules.
And you know what? That’s okay. I don’t mind a little spoiling now and then. They live in Idaho while we’re in Oregon, so when they do get to visit, they make it count, and we let them have their fun.
Their visits come with a few perks: we get extra hands around the house, enjoy some much-needed date nights, and my father-in-law is always fixing things that I would inevitably mess up. But on the flip side, bedtime routines go out the window, and it can feel a bit cramped having family around for too long.
Now, on the other side of the family tree, my mother presents a vastly different picture. After my father passed away when I was 19, it’s just been her. She’s remarried, but my stepdad is mostly hands-off. My mom is more of the “you’ve had your hour” type of grandmother. Living in Utah, she’s great at remembering holidays, sending gifts, and showering the kids with treats when they visit. She keeps a gallery of family photos in her home and respects our parenting rules, which is something I genuinely appreciate.
If I were to put Alex’s parents and my mom on a scale, they’d be on opposite ends. I can’t quite picture them hanging out together, not because they fight, but because their approaches to family are just so different.
That’s the thing about grandparents: they aren’t all created equal. Some seem totally uninterested, while others might take their role a bit too seriously, offering unsolicited advice or questioning our parenting choices.
We all know someone dealing with a grandparent like this.
I’d like to believe there are some grandparents out there who have figured it all out—those mythical beings who offer the perfect advice at the perfect time, know when to step in, and respect your house rules. But honestly, I’ve never met those grandparents in real life. They seem more like characters from a sitcom than actual people.
Most of us have our fair share of complaints about our parents or in-laws, and I’m sure Alex’s parents and my mom have their own critiques about how we raise our children. It’s a tough balancing act. As parents, we often feel like we’re constantly making mistakes and navigating a world that’s so different from the one we grew up in.
Maybe it’s time we all extend a little grace to the grandparents in our lives. Just like us, they’re trying to navigate their new roles and figure out what being a grandparent means in this ever-changing landscape. They love us and our kids, and I think we can all agree that they didn’t drop us off in the woods, which is a win in my book.
Of course, some grandparents may have serious issues, and it’s best for your children to steer clear of those situations. But if the grandparents are genuinely trying, shouldn’t we focus more on what they’re doing right instead of what they’re getting wrong? Perhaps it’s time to give them a call and let them know how much their efforts are appreciated.
For more insights, check out this article on what grandparents get right. And if you’re interested in home insemination, Make a Mom is a great source for all things related to fertility. Also, if you’re looking for reliable information on IVF, Healthline provides excellent resources.
Summary:
Parenting is a unique journey, and so is grandparenting. Not all grandparents are created equal; some spoil the kids with treats while others offer support without overstepping. While it’s easy to criticize, extending grace to grandparents navigating their new roles can strengthen family bonds. Let’s appreciate their efforts while recognizing that every family has its dynamics.