Back in my day, simply being asked to a homecoming dance was the highlight—no frills or fancy theatrics involved. It usually entailed a boy nervously dialing the phone (yes, I’m that old) and stuttering, “Would you like to go with me?” That was the whole experience.
Fast forward to today, my daughter, now a high-school freshman, casually mentioned she’d be attending her first dance with a friend we know and approve of. “That’s wonderful, sweetie!” I replied. “When did he ask you?”
“Well, he said he’s going to ask me, but hasn’t actually done it yet because it’s not all set up,” she explained, and I could feel my cool factor plummeting as I tried to process this new reality.
“Mom, it’s not just an ask anymore. It’s a full-on production,” she said with an eye roll, leaving me speechless like a fish out of water. Seriously?
Today’s kids are competing to impress potential dates with all sorts of extravagant proposals. From spelling out “HC” with rose petals to planning elaborate scavenger hunts or plastering “Wanted” posters around school, the creativity knows no bounds. What’s next, a skywriter? And of course, all of this is documented on social media for the world to see—because who doesn’t want likes alongside that “yes”?
While I give them points for imagination, there are some serious downsides to this public spectacle. For starters, these grand gestures often come with a hefty price tag. Boys who can’t afford to compete might feel inadequate or embarrassed. Plus, these elaborate tactics can put pressure on parents or friends to help, leaving those who can’t participate feeling left out or even guilty.
Then there’s the added pressure for boys to conform to this trend. Some, who prefer a more low-key approach, might decide to skip the dance altogether, as several of my mom friends have noted about their sons. And with social media shining a spotlight on these grand proposals, it can easily alienate those who weren’t asked or feel awkward about asking.
Moreover, we send a message to the girls receiving these proposals: you can’t say no. My daughter and her friends often believe that if a boy goes through all this trouble to ask them, they simply can’t decline, no matter their true feelings. A girl’s disappointment or alternate preference seems irrelevant; she risks being labeled rude for turning down someone who put in so much effort.
Aren’t we inadvertently teaching our daughters that their own comfort and desires take a back seat to someone else’s display of effort? That somehow, they owe a date to a boy who orchestrated a big show just to ask them?
It seems like a lot of unnecessary pressure on both ends. Remember, you’re not proposing marriage; it’s just a dance. Why not keep it simple and stick to a phone call? Save the extravagant gestures for when it really counts.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, feel free to check out our other posts at Home Insemination Kit and Artificial Insemination Kit. For an in-depth look at this topic, Wikipedia provides a wealth of information on artificial insemination.
In summary, homecoming has transformed from a simple ask to a competitive spectacle, putting pressure on both boys and girls and often overshadowing the joy of simply attending a dance together.