Back in my school days, I spent an entire year fretting over the possibility of being pregnant—thanks to a boy catching a glimpse of my underwear and a friend mistakenly informing me that this was how babies were made. That little panic attack shaped my approach to sex education for my own kids. Since they were in preschool, my kids have been taught the correct anatomical terms: boys have penises, not “wee-wees,” and girls have vaginas, not “front-butts.” I made sure they understood that babies are made when penises enter vaginas, not from a sneaky peek at someone’s underwear.
I thought I was doing a great job raising kids with a solid understanding of anatomy, shielding them from the misinformation that can spread like wildfire among their friends. That was until we visited the NEMO Science Museum in Amsterdam this summer.
No, not the animated fish—this was a hands-on science center! We spent hours exploring various interactive exhibits and trying to create the biggest bubble imaginable. But, as a grand finale, we headed to the “Humania” level on the fourth floor. As I stepped off the stairs, even this open-minded mom was taken aback by what awaited us.
To my left was a gigantic sign partially in Dutch, but I could easily spot “Teen Facts” and “Let’s Talk About Sex.” To my right, another sign with the same phrase, paired with a sultry black-and-white photo of a couple seemingly engaged in more than just conversation.
I turned around to see my 8-year-old son enthusiastically working a giant tongue in the “French Kiss” exhibit. However, he quickly lost interest, declaring, “Kissing is gross!” Overall, the displays were surprising but not more shocking than what you might see on magazine covers at the grocery store.
But then I spotted something in the corner that prompted me to share my experience on social media. There, in a bright red display case, were dozens of wooden figures—faceless, hairless, and posed in more sexual positions than I knew existed. Did we accidentally wander into Amsterdam’s Red Light District? Should we have been carded to enter this area? Were these the latest IKEA creations?
Uncertain if my son should be on this floor, we bypassed the guarded entrance to get a closer look at the wooden Kama Sutra display. I imagined what secrets the peep show across from the doll display might hold. I’m tempted to return to Amsterdam to find out, but until then, I can only rely on the NEMO website, which describes the peep show as a place to learn about sex and sexuality without judgment or prying eyes.
With all this sex-positive information being openly presented to kids, some might worry that Dutch children face a higher risk of unintended pregnancies and abortions. Surprisingly, it’s quite the opposite! As highlighted in Peggy Orenstein’s article in the LA Times, “Worried About Your Teenage Daughter? Move to the Netherlands,” the U.S. has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the industrialized world, while the Netherlands boasts one of the lowest. The teen birth rate in the U.S. is eight times higher than theirs, and our abortion rate is 1.7 times higher—what a difference!
Orenstein explains that not long ago, the Netherlands had a sex education approach similar to what many Americans see today. However, they began shifting this perspective over the past 20 years. By the 1990s, while many Americans were investing in ineffective abstinence-only programs, Dutch educators and parents were discussing the positive aspects of sex and relationships, anatomy, reproduction, disease prevention, contraception, and even abortion. They emphasized respect and open dialogue about topics like masturbation, oral sex, and more.
For many in the U.S., sex education remains a taboo subject, with a lingering belief that knowledge leads to promiscuity rather than the proven reality that information promotes safety. For parents like me who advocate for a more open and positive approach to sex education in schools, it can be challenging to understand what is being taught and how to support progressive initiatives in our districts.
In my quest for comprehensive sex education for my children, I stumbled upon a fantastic site that outlines sex education laws specific to each state and can help you investigate your school district’s policies. They even offer a toolkit for navigating the process and compiling all your information in one place, along with talking points to facilitate discussions.
For me, the answer to “Why sex ed?” is straightforward: I want my kids to have the knowledge they need to stay safe and healthy throughout their lives. Trust me, coming from a woman who once thought she could get pregnant just from someone seeing her underwear, a little information truly goes a long way.