Hey there, gentlemen. Let’s dive into why we’re feeling utterly drained.
Emotional labor is like that invisible weight we carry — the energy women invest in managing the emotions of others, striving to meet societal expectations, or just trying to be polite when the world often tells us to be nice while boys are told to tough it out. It’s a heavy load that falls not just on women but also on some men, especially those who shoulder the primary caregiving responsibilities in their families. But let’s set aside that discussion for now.
When I stumbled upon Jenna Parker’s account of her harassment by that infamous producer, it hit home. Listening to the recording of Mia Torres imploring him to let her go resonated deeply with me. I felt each emotion she expressed — the fear, the confusion, the shame. Women are often forced to navigate a cocktail of feelings, suppressing their reactions, minimizing their experiences, and trying to smile through it all because maybe, just maybe, the guy didn’t mean it that way.
Many of us have encountered this ugly cocktail, often more times than we’d like to count. My first experience? I was just a toddler, three years old. My “Harvey” was a troubled young man, and my instinct was survival. I learned to live with it, like a stain I chose to ignore.
What I faced at three was traumatic, but what I encountered as a teen and young adult was even more insidious — those everyday sexist situations that felt so common yet so deeply unsettling. From being treated as an object to having my autonomy dismissed, these experiences are part of a disturbing norm that countless girls and women endure.
It’s those moments — the inappropriate touches, the suggestive comments, the relentless scanning of our bodies by grinning men. It’s the forced kisses that we push away from, the belittling remarks that undermine our intelligence, and being treated like children even when we had to grow up at a young age. The expectation that we remain silent and accommodating due to the roles we play in society adds to the emotional labor we carry.
This emotional labor accumulates, forming a spectrum of everyday misogyny that we face from entitled or clueless men. It’s reliving our stories when a friend opens up about hers, or feeling our blood boil when we see another man trying to intimidate a woman. It’s the online threats that come with being a woman in the public eye — every female blogger or activist knows this pain.
Remember when we learned about journalist Lisa Creek and her trials with an online stalker? The reality is grim; even three years later, platforms like Twitter and Facebook still tolerate threats against women. This pervasive culture sends a clear message: women are disposable, and even respected voices can be ignored.
Every time we witness someone taking advantage of a woman, it adds to the emotional strain. It feels like we’re all part of a sisterhood saying, “We’re done with this.” Daily sexism is like a ticking clock — ever-present and relentless.
It’s exhausting to hear the same tired comments from men who think they’re clever, saying things we’ve been subjected to since childhood. And then there’s the guilt — guilt for being there, for not leaving sooner, for not fighting back hard enough. The emotional toll of managing our own feelings while trying to soothe the egos of those who wrong us is draining.
It’s a vicious cycle when brave women share their stories of harassment or abuse. While their strength in speaking out is empowering, it often invites further abuse from those who refuse to listen. The weariness of not being believed looms large, as even well-meaning men may not accept our experiences until they’re confirmed by multiple voices.
We find ourselves repeatedly reassuring men that not all of them are like that, which only delays our conversations about the real issues of abuse, assault, and sexism. This is vital to address, but we often have to pause and cater to a man’s feelings, which is frustrating.
When predators are finally exposed, we’re still expected to temper our emotions or face the label of hysteria. The silence of those good men who don’t call out their peers for inappropriate jokes or comments only compounds the issue.
It’s disheartening to realize that these stories echo what our mothers faced decades ago. The only noticeable change seems to be that HR departments now pretend to care while the underlying problems persist.
Men often feel the need to comment on women’s experiences, suggesting we should’ve spoken up sooner or avoided the situation altogether, rather than simply listening and supporting us. These misguided attempts only serve to undermine the struggles we’ve faced since childhood.
Some experiences might seem trivial, but they sit on the same spectrum of abusive behavior and are impossible to dismiss. What your friends may laugh at are painful memories for us. Every small incident consumes our time and energy, forcing us to pause and assess our surroundings, often needing to vent to friends just to cope.
I’m simply tired of carrying this weight. I’m weary of watching women endure this cycle repeatedly. The memories resurface every time a new story breaks, and witnessing men dismissing our experiences is infuriating.
This emotional labor is a part of my being, weighing me down. It’s a burden that stems from a culture that commodifies women and dismisses our voices. It’s exhausting to maintain composure and not succumb to bitterness in a society that perpetuates these injustices.
So, gentlemen, if you’re wondering why we’re so vocal about these issues, why we refuse to tolerate dismissals anymore, and why we don’t cater to your discomfort when our bodies are disrespected — it’s simply because we’re tired.
Signed,
The Sisterhood of We’re Tired of This Nonsense
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Summary:
In this piece, the author expresses the emotional exhaustion women face due to societal expectations and persistent sexism. The article highlights how emotional labor affects women, detailing experiences of harassment and the burden of managing their emotions in a patriarchal society. It calls for understanding from men regarding the fatigue and frustration that comes from navigating a world where women’s voices are often dismissed.