I have a secret to share. You might raise an eyebrow and think, “What kind of young adult would feel this way?” Or perhaps you’ll relate and quietly reflect, “I felt that way too.” So, here it is: During my teenage years, I had a complicated relationship with my mother. I genuinely struggled to find common ground with her; I often dismissed her words, resisted her guidance, and distanced myself from her presence.
It’s difficult to admit, and I carry a sense of regret about it, but at that time, I simply didn’t understand. Like many adolescents, I lacked the ability to appreciate the depth of sacrifice my mother made for me. The teenage mind can barely navigate the simplest of decisions, so how could mine comprehend the breadth of her efforts throughout those challenging years? Understanding came only after I became a mother myself.
As a first-time mom, I was thrown into the chaotic whirlwind of sleepless nights, a constantly crying baby, and an endless stream of questions like, “What am I doing wrong? Why won’t they stop crying? Is this typical?” Fortunately, the person who held the answers to all my questions was none other than my own mother, who happened to be staying with us at that time. I entered the hospital as a confident, self-assured woman, but returned home feeling lost and overwhelmed, desperately in need of support. The very person I had resented years earlier was now my greatest source of comfort.
Transitioning into this new dynamic with my mother was peculiar, especially since it stemmed from my recent experience of motherhood. Instantly, I was welcomed into a sisterhood of mothers, where my own mom had been a member for years. As the newest recruit, I was immediately aware of the unspoken bond that connected us. Suddenly, all those years of disputes faded away, and the realization that she had been right all along hit me like a wave during a midnight feeding.
In those early parenting years, I often found myself reflecting on all the unnoticed efforts my mom had made — from laundry to meals, driving me to appointments, and helping with my homework. As my children entered their tweens and early teen years, my gratitude deepened. I began to see her not just as my mother but as a fellow mother navigating the same challenges I faced.
Now, as I navigate the transition into the young adult phase with my children, I have a clearer understanding of who my mother truly is. She transcends the roles of woman, wife, and mother; she embodies resilience. She not only tackled the parenting hurdles I now face, but she also emerged from them intact. Motherhood didn’t defeat her, and I recognize that it won’t break me either. I draw strength from the fact that she survived this journey, giving me the confidence that I can too.
This shift in perspective has enriched our relationship. Despite our differences, I admire her for completing a marathon that I am still running. I cherish having her as my cheerleader, supporting me through the emotional struggles of parenthood. When I feel overwhelmed and question my ability to raise my children into kind and responsible adults, I turn to her for encouragement. “You’ve got this,” she reassures me, reminding me that if she could persevere, so can I — and that I possess a strength beyond her own.
Survivors teach us invaluable lessons — faith, grace, humility, and determination, even in the most challenging times. I have absorbed these lessons from my own survivor: my mother. On the days when I feel like giving up, when raising these young people seems insurmountable, I reach out to my mom. “You’re going to finish this race,” she insists, instilling a renewed sense of hope.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, the author recounts her journey from teenage resentment towards her mother to a profound appreciation after becoming a mother herself. Through the trials of parenthood, she recognizes her mother’s resilience and the valuable lessons learned from her experiences. Ultimately, this new perspective fosters a deeper bond and admiration for her mother, highlighting the strength derived from familial support.