In the realm of parenting, I often find myself in the unenviable position of being labeled the ‘Mean Mom.’ My children, on any given day, may express their frustrations over a range of issues: from being tasked with cleaning up the water mess they left in the bathroom to having their gaming time on the Xbox curtailed. Occasionally, I even have the audacity to request they pick up after our dog or take their dinner plates to the sink.
As a parent, I oscillate between being a strict figure and a more lenient one. I generally consider myself fairly easygoing—often saying yes to extra screen time, junk food, and later bedtimes. I don’t overly stress their academic performance as long as they show effort and respect their educators. I can overlook socks strewn across the floor and even tolerate their messy bedrooms. I’m not one to get upset when they leave the toilet seat up, which is nearly all the time.
However, my determination to raise considerate individuals means that I must sometimes enforce rules and boundaries. This inevitably leads to whining, complaints, and tears. My children often compare their situation to that of their friends, who supposedly enjoy unlimited Xbox time (they don’t), or claim they’ll finish their homework the next morning (they won’t). They might even insist that a neighbor named Timmy doesn’t have to clean up after his dog (Timmy doesn’t have a dog).
It’s safe to say that my children are frequently annoyed with me. While I share a close bond with them and strive to be a safe haven, they often feel frustration towards my expectations and rules. Admittedly, being perceived as the “meanest mom” isn’t always easy. It’s never pleasant to deal with a child upset over something seemingly trivial, like the importance of hygiene. Yet, I accept this role, recognizing its necessity in parenting.
Of course, I aim to maintain a healthy relationship with my children; I desire their love and respect. I want them to trust me as their advocate and protector. But I also know that I’m not here to be their friend. My role as their mother supersedes any notion of friendship.
I refuse to raise entitled individuals devoid of manners or common decency. I want my children to grow into kind and respectful adults, which sometimes requires me to adopt the ‘mean mom’ persona. There’s no need for me to be their friend, as I wouldn’t tolerate the behaviors they exhibit if they were a peer. It is my responsibility to guide them towards becoming well-rounded individuals, and that means they’ll occasionally be upset with me.
My children often express their displeasure over a myriad of everyday matters. For example, they can get frustrated when I sing loudly in front of their friends or when I prevent them from jumping out of a moving vehicle in the carpool line. I firmly believe in maintaining cleanliness and hygiene, so I insist they wash properly, brush their teeth, and wear deodorant. Occasionally, I even dare to prepare a home-cooked meal or tidy their belongings, which can result in eye rolls or grumbling. And if consequences arise from their misbehavior? Well, that certainly adds to my tally as the “meanest mom.”
In truth, I find multiple ways to annoy my children throughout the day—though I might be exaggerating when I say it’s in the hundreds. One amusing example is when I added cheese to a grilled cheese sandwich and cut it into squares instead of triangles. If you’re searching for a guaranteed way to irritate your child, simply tidy up the Legos they claim to be “still playing with” after five days of them being strewn across the kitchen floor.
Yet, provoking our children’s annoyance is simply part of the job description of being a parent. Embracing the ‘mean’ label is a necessary obligation that comes with the privilege of motherhood.
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In summary, embracing the role of the ‘Mean Mom’ is not only a necessity but also an essential part of fostering responsible and empathetic members of society. It’s a challenging yet rewarding aspect of parenting that prepares our children for the world beyond the home.