Updated: April 1, 2019
Originally Published: November 26, 2017
As a child, I envisioned my future home as a picture-perfect sanctuary. I dreamed of a spacious backyard where my kids could run around, a sunny kitchen featuring a large, rustic dining table for arts and crafts and homework, and décor that exuded a charming shabby chic aesthetic, reminiscent of a magazine spread. It was pure fantasy.
Fast forward to today, and while I can proudly say we have a yard and a dining table, the dreamy Pottery Barn style? Not a chance. Our reality is more of a “We Have Kids and Pets, So This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” ambiance.
Most days, I’m perfectly content with this chaos. I embrace the chipped paint, the crayon scribbles on the walls, the scratched hardwood floors, and the carpet stains that tell stories of snack time mishaps. I’ve come to terms with the baseball cards that seem to multiply in every corner of the house. After all, despite the disarray, our home offers warmth and comfort. With countless responsibilities demanding my attention, I simply can’t find the energy to fret over imperfect décor or to constantly remind my children to tread lightly around my seasonal decorations.
Honestly, it’s challenging enough to remind my kids multiple times a day to brush their teeth and toss their dirty clothes into the laundry chute, which is conveniently located just outside their bedroom. The last thing I want to worry about is whether the hand towels in a non-existent guest bathroom are perfectly folded.
However, there are moments when I fall prey to envy while scrolling through social media or browsing catalogs. I might convince myself that my home is a disaster, and the only remedy is to either move or set it ablaze.
Let’s be real: social media is a deceptive illusion. Facebook, Instagram, and especially Pinterest create a fabricated standard of living that’s far from reality. Yes, there are a handful of families with impeccably curated homes, but they are the anomaly, not the norm.
As I sit here writing, my makeshift “desk” is a battered kitchen table cluttered with old art projects, an empty granola bar wrapper, and an assortment of writing tools. Glancing into the living room, you’d spot crooked family photos alongside a ripped-out magazine picture of a baseball player that my son plastered over a family portrait. And yes, there’s even a picture of a donkey taped to the wall, which prompts the question, “Why is there a donkey on your wall?” Yes, it’s true, and honestly? I couldn’t care less.
Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Admittedly, I do care—just not enough to let it consume me. I find myself feeling inadequate when I compare my lived-in home to the immaculate, minimalist spaces showcased online. The truth is, I refuse to dedicate my entire day to cleaning up after my family nor do I wish to invest a fortune in home décor that I’d worry about getting ruined.
Do you really want to spend your days nagging your family about coasters and coloring within the lines? Would you rather invest in expensive furniture that you’re constantly anxious about ruining, or would you prefer to keep that comfy old couch a little longer so you can shrug off any spills? Do you want a home where everyone tiptoes around, afraid to mess anything up, or one where they can genuinely be themselves and enjoy the company around them?
The bottom line is this: a family resides here, and families are inherently messy.
Everyone has their thresholds for what constitutes a cluttered space versus a disaster zone. Personally, I can only handle so much clutter before I become stressed. Thus, I strive to limit the number of toys and decorations, frequently decluttering. For some, cleaning is therapeutic or a vital aspect of self-care. Others might even find joy in decorating their spaces. Each person must discover what brings them happiness, and that’s perfectly okay.
If your house resembles this…
Or this…
Or this…
Or if your kids’ rooms are like this…
Or your closets look like this…
Take a deep breath. Relax. It’s completely fine.
Most of us have felt that our homes are chaotic at some point—yes, even the aspiring minimalists and dedicated clean freaks. We lament over the crayon marks, the chipped paint, the endless Lego pieces scattered across the floor, and the snack wrappers that never seem to make it to the trash. We hide our messes in closets and drawers, making our spaces appear tidier than they truly are. Why? Because we are resourceful and creative problem solvers.
This is life. This is the reality we live in. This is what home feels like. So, open your doors, let people in, and stop stressing. You’re doing just fine. For more insights, check out this article on home insemination and explore the at-home insemination kit for additional resources on building your family. For comprehensive information on pregnancy, the Cleveland Clinic offers excellent guidance.
Summary:
Your home is not a disaster; it’s a representation of your life and the family you’ve built. Embrace the chaos and recognize that your lived-in space is normal. While social media may portray unattainable perfection, real homes are filled with love, mess, and memories. You’re doing great, so invite others in and enjoy the journey.