Parenting is often a complex and challenging journey, and for us, it has been a rollercoaster ride with our seven-year-old son, Ethan. Over the past year, we have witnessed an extraordinary shift in his demeanor, where he has blossomed into a happy, thriving child seemingly overnight. In first grade, he has achieved top marks, developed his reading skills, and formed new friendships. Moreover, he has shown commitment to karate and soccer, even when faced with more athletic peers.
Reflecting back to our time in Alabama when Ethan was just two years old, we became aware that he was lagging in speech and emotional development. Seeking help, we initiated therapy, but shortly after the arrival of our second son, Noah, Ethan was expelled from his first preschool for biting and throwing tantrums. The staff remarked, “We’ve never encountered a child quite like Ethan.”
At four years old, while living in Orlando, he faced expulsion from another school due to similar behavioral issues and a lack of impulse control. Parents around us questioned whether he might be autistic, while others labeled him a bully, demanding he be sent to a school “for problematic children.”
In an effort to guide Ethan, we enlisted the help of a child psychologist. Around that time, he was diagnosed with Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome, a disorder driven by anxiety that caused him to vomit during stressful situations, which often included family outings and holidays.
Recognizing the need for a more tailored approach, we decided to hold him back a year, enrolling him at a Montessori school at age five. It was there that the director identified his Sensory Processing Disorder, a condition hindering his ability to manage overwhelming stimuli. We expanded his therapy regimen to include occupational therapy in addition to speech and behavioral therapy. Unfortunately, despite our efforts, Ethan continued to experience intense meltdowns both in public and at home.
One particularly challenging incident occurred in May when he knocked over a bookshelf and accidentally hit his teacher. The remorse he felt for missing the field trip was palpable, and he expressed his struggle with controlling “the bad Ethan” that emerged at times. Yet throughout this journey, our supportive network of friends, family, and educators surrounded him with unconditional love.
As we prepared to move once more, this time from Orlando to Louisiana, we faced another setback when two private schools expressed they were unable to accommodate Ethan, despite acknowledging his intelligence. This was yet another disheartening moment in our quest for a fresh start.
We ultimately purchased a home in a reputable public school district, managing to close just in time for school registration. In our pursuit of solutions, we invested in a comprehensive psychological evaluation and genetic testing to identify the most effective ADHD medication for managing his impulses.
Remarkably, we found that we did not need any of that. Starting first grade, something within Ethan clicked. He received an A in conduct nearly every day, with only two exceptions when he was simply chatting too much with a new friend. After nine weeks, he earned a reward for achieving his reading goals, completing nightly homework, and maintaining exemplary behavior. From barely reading over the summer, he progressed to a level D, with aspirations to reach level J before advancing to second grade.
One day, he even asked his teacher for more challenging books to read at home. Although he experienced frustration one night and temporarily threw the books on the floor, he quickly regained his composure, declaring, “If I can’t be the best reader in my class, then I’ll at least be the best one in my reading group!”
Although Ethan still has a long journey ahead, with emotional fluctuations and occasional breakdowns, his progress is undeniable. His vocabulary is impressive, and while he has many ideas to share, his speech articulation remains at a level comparable to a three-year-old, with only 30% intelligibility. We know there is work to do.
I share our story because I see other children like Ethan and parents grappling with similar struggles. Some kids, like our five-year-old Noah, seem ready to soar from birth, while others remain encased in a cocoon, enduring dark times. We continue therapy, research, and nurturing, often waiting for tangible progress. Yet, each day, we surround our son with love from friends, teachers, therapists, and family, and eventually, they emerge as beautiful butterflies.
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In summary, our journey with Ethan has been transformative, marked by challenges and triumphs. With ongoing support and love, he continues to grow and evolve into a remarkable individual, reminding us that even in the darkest times, hope and progress are always possible.