“Does anyone have a reliable babysitter they can suggest? Preferably someone who’s available on short notice?”
This text pinged my phone on a chilly Friday afternoon, quickly followed by a flurry of “nope!” and “good luck!” messages, punctuated with teary emojis from unfamiliar numbers. It’s clear that a coveted babysitter’s number is not something one easily parts with. In fact, aside from the sender, I didn’t recognize any of the contacts in that group chat. None of them will receive a reply from me.
I could cite the fact that the asker isn’t a close friend or mention how I’m too busy wrangling my kids in the freezing January chill. However, the reality is much simpler: I just can’t share the number.
I have only one babysitter. Beyond family, there’s just one individual I can rely on to care for my children. This isn’t about being picky; it’s a matter of necessity. My five-year-old son has cerebral palsy, and while he weighs only forty pounds, lifting him can feel like hoisting a hundred. He has limited verbal skills, requiring a caregiver who can almost read his mind to understand his needs. The babysitter I trust works at his preschool and has been with him since he was two years old. I can’t risk losing the one person I feel comfortable with.
Finding a responsible, dependable babysitter over the age of fourteen, especially during hectic times, can be daunting. For us, it goes beyond the usual criteria. It demands experience with children who have disabilities, a unique rapport, and a level of understanding that feels almost magical to ensure I can leave my kids in safe hands.
The importance of that babysitter’s number has been ingrained in me since infancy. When we first welcomed our son home from the hospital, he required a tracheotomy, a suction machine, an oxygen monitor, and a g-tube. I hardly left the house, and date nights were a distant dream. Just before I was set to return to work, we had to cancel the daycare we had arranged a year in advance. Who could we trust to handle his medical needs and manage potential illnesses that circulate among children? Instead, he was cared for by a registered nurse or my mother.
Fortunately, as he grew older, many of those medical challenges diminished. While we no longer need a nurse, we still require someone capable of meeting his physical needs. Additionally, I have twins who embody the spirited chaos of threenagers, requiring constant supervision and attention. They can turn a roll of toilet paper into a bathroom disaster in mere seconds. While date nights are now a possibility, they remain infrequent enough to make me feel both excited and anxious as I pull out of the driveway.
This explains why I chose not to respond to that text. My family’s specific needs call for a babysitter with a very particular skill set—think of the Navy SEALs of childcare. I know many parents of children with special needs share this sentiment. Our free time is already limited, and the thought of leaving our kids with someone we don’t know well is daunting. We can’t afford to take risks.
It’s nothing personal; it’s simply the business of managing our family. We need to keep our trusted caregivers close.
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Summary
In this article, I discuss the critical importance of having a reliable babysitter, especially for families with children who have special needs. The challenges of finding someone trustworthy are compounded by the specific skills required to care for children with disabilities. My journey through parenthood highlights the necessity of maintaining close relationships with those we trust, particularly when our children’s safety is at stake.