Throughout college, I dabbled with dildos—small ones, and always with a partner. Although they were never a source of discomfort, I never ventured into the realm of vibrators. I thought they were primarily for those who struggled to reach orgasm, and I found the concept of using a vibrator somewhat off-putting, as if it was akin to robotic intimacy.
Years later, after addressing my mental health challenges with medication, my sexual experiences began to dwindle. The effects of my SSRI, along with other prescriptions, seemed to dampen my ability to climax. What used to be a vibrant part of my life turned into a frustrating routine where satisfaction was often elusive.
One evening, after the kids were asleep, my partner handed me a box. I opened it, and to my surprise, it was a vibrator. “I thought this could be beneficial,” he explained. “Every woman I spoke to said it’s like an instant orgasm.” My initial reaction was skepticism: “I’m not using that,” I replied. “No, Jamie,” he reassured me. “You just lie back and enjoy while I control it.”
That sounded more appealing.
As we began our intimate time together, he prepared the device, which resembled a pink, cylindrical object. When he turned it on and placed it on me, I quickly forgot my reservations. The sensations were overwhelming, and I found myself experiencing pleasure like I hadn’t in years. The vibrator quickly transitioned from “The Thing” to “My Toy,” and it became a staple in our encounters, effectively alleviating my orgasm struggles.
My partner navigated the introduction of this new element to our intimacy with finesse. He initiated the conversation and took the risk of purchasing it without my prior input—though he was prepared to lose the money if I rejected it. Typically, discussing a new toy beforehand is advisable, ensuring that both partners feel comfortable and excited about the addition. However, I was grateful he chose for me, as I likely would have dismissed the idea entirely had we browsed options together.
If you’re contemplating your first vibrator purchase, consider consulting trusted friends for recommendations. The options available can be overwhelming, so a little research can go a long way.
Moreover, my partner gave me autonomy over the experience. Although he initiated the idea, I retained the power to decline. Initially, my aversion stemmed from a misguided notion of robotic intimacy, but his reassurance changed my perspective. His willingness to address my concerns made me feel valued. He explained that the vibrator was not an autonomous entity; rather, I was still in control through him.
Ultimately, this experience was about enhancing our connection. While I enjoyed the sensations, it was equally fulfilling for him to witness my pleasure. This shared experience brought us closer, rather than creating distance, which was incredibly gratifying.
Now, I’m even considering upgrading my vibrator. I’ve heard that higher-end models often stray from traditional shapes. We are also discussing the addition of cock rings, showcasing how my initial reservations have transformed into a willingness to explore.
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In summary, introducing a vibrator into our intimate life revitalized our connection and enhanced my experiences, proving that open communication and exploration can lead to deeper intimacy.