Today I must confess: my performance as a mom was far from stellar. I’m expecting a child, feeling drained, and grappling with hormonal shifts. My 3-year-old daughter is particularly demanding and headstrong today, and frankly, I’ve reached my limit. It’s time for a mental health day.
In the realm of motherhood, the concept of a “sick day” is virtually nonexistent. When our partners so much as catch a minor cold, they often act like an additional child, requiring constant care. I find myself catering to their needs, whether it’s warming up soup or making tea, all while simultaneously preparing a peanut butter sandwich and chocolate milk for my daughter. Naturally, their needs never align.
But when it’s a mom who is unwell, the expectations remain unchanged. We could be battling a fever or severe fatigue, yet the demands keep coming: “Mom, I need this! Now!” or “Where did I put my keys?” (for the hundredth time). And let’s not forget the dramatic outbursts over clothing choices. The world keeps spinning, and moms are expected to keep pace without a moment of pause.
Today, I said enough is enough. I’m worn out, dealing with a headache, plus the added challenge of carrying a little one while trying to manage my spirited toddler. My partner just handed me a list of upcoming business trips, which only adds to my sigh of frustration.
So, today, I decided to prioritize myself. I chose to lounge on the couch, binge-watching reruns of my favorite show, letting the dishes pile up in the sink. I allowed myself to cry when a friend called just to chat, needing to let out the emotions that were bubbling up inside instead of pretending everything was fine. I sat my daughter in front of the TV while I took a much-needed shower.
Then, I let her play on the iPad as I wrote this piece, hoping to clear my mind and regain some emotional balance. I even allowed her to indulge in chocolate milk the entire afternoon because I simply didn’t have the energy to argue. If she wanted three fruit snacks for lunch, so be it. Two glasses of lemonade? Why not? She thinks it’s the best day ever, while I’m internally cringing. It’s funny how perspective shifts.
At day’s end, will my child be harmed by her sugar overload? No. Will she suffer long-term from watching three hours of television instead of the usual thirty minutes? Absolutely not. Will she turn into a spoiled child because I let her have her way for one day? I sincerely hope not! But what truly matters is that she will benefit from having an emotionally stable mom.
As mothers, we often struggle to carve out time for ourselves. Someone once asked me how I nurture my well-being each day, and I found it difficult to answer. It struck me that if we devote all our energy to our kids, partners, and families, we risk losing our own identities. This can lead to feelings of depression, bitterness, and resentment—none of which I want to project onto my daughter. I want to empower her to be strong, independent, and compassionate, but to do that, I must embody those qualities myself.
Taking time for self-care feels strange, yet I notice a significant difference when I do. I feel rejuvenated, energetic, and confident, which translates into being a better mom, partner, and friend. Today, I opted out of my usual responsibilities. Moving forward, I want to be proactive about checking in with my mental health, much like regular health check-ups. It’s crucial to prioritize our emotional and spiritual well-being, even if it feels selfish at times.
As we embark on this new year, I challenge myself and all moms to start nurturing ourselves. Begin with weekly self-care, and gradually increase it to daily practices. I’m sharing this challenge to hold myself accountable, hoping it inspires others as well.
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Summary
Today was a challenging day for me as a mom, filled with exhaustion and emotional overwhelm. I chose to prioritize my mental health by allowing myself some much-needed downtime, which ultimately benefits my child. It’s essential for mothers to take time for self-care to maintain emotional stability, and I encourage all moms to embrace this practice.