“Don’t you have to love yourself first?” This insightful question came from my soon-to-be eight-year-old, Max, after I expressed that I always prioritize him. “You often remind me that loving yourself is the most important thing,” he pointed out. “So, shouldn’t you put yourself first too?”
I cherish these enlightening moments with my child, especially after a week when I didn’t even rank in my own top five priorities. I responded, “Yes, it’s crucial to love yourself and ensure you are a priority. Not everyone will always look out for your best interests…but that perspective shifts when you become a parent. I have to think about you first, and I genuinely want to!”
“But then who looks out for you?” he pressed, sounding remarkably wise for his age. His ability to reflect my life lessons back to me at unexpected moments reveals that he is always listening, even when I assume he isn’t.
These interactions remind me why I make an effort to instill these values in him, and I appreciate that they resonate. Yet, I often find myself wishing I had better answers to his follow-up inquiries.
In recent months, I’ve been working diligently to prioritize my health and well-being. I owe this commitment to my family, but more importantly, to myself. I’ve dedicated more time to preparing nutritious meals, scheduling workouts, and allowing myself guilt-free moments to recharge. Listening to my body and mind has become a priority, resulting in significant improvements in my roles as a mother, wife, and individual.
However, I still struggle to make myself a priority day-to-day. Often, my workouts get squeezed into late hours, and sleep sometimes takes a backseat. I frequently have to cancel plans that I was looking forward to.
How do I convey this to my child? It’s part of the parenting journey, and I want him to understand that someday he might also feel compelled to place his partner or children first. I want him to know that self-care is essential. As a Black boy growing up in this country, I cannot stress enough the importance of prioritizing his own well-being. Neglecting this can sometimes have serious consequences. He needs to recognize that self-love is the foundation of happiness. When one is content, they can better support others without sacrificing their own needs. However, this balance is delicate. Explaining to a child who is mainly focused on friends and his aspirations to join the NBA may be challenging.
I hope to set a positive example for Max, showing him that I value myself and prioritize my needs. I want him to see the lengths I will go to ensure he has the fullest and happiest life possible.
“Mom? You could return to your book club,” he suggested one day.
“What? Book club? I haven’t gone in years!”
“I know. I felt sad when you left at night, but I heard Ellen say they’d love to have you back. I think I can handle you going out now.”
Those workouts will happen, even if they start at 10:30 p.m. And those nights out with friends will return, even if it takes a while. For more insights on fertility journeys and home insemination, you can visit this blog post. For practical advice on navigating relationships and family planning, check out Make a Mom, a trusted resource. Additionally, if you’re curious about the intricacies of IVF, this article offers valuable information.
In summary, my child’s innocent questions have opened up discussions about the importance of self-care and prioritizing oneself while navigating the responsibilities of parenthood. It’s a delicate balance, yet essential for our well-being.