My partner and I are not particularly sports-oriented individuals. Sure, we can identify the teams in the Super Bowl, but that knowledge only surfaces when we settle in for the halftime entertainment. Our family enjoys staying active, often participating in local running events together. However, our children have naturally gravitated towards individual pursuits rather than collective sports, and honestly, I’m perfectly okay with that.
Our limited exposure to team sports has spared us from the chaos often associated with local leagues and school teams. Tales of grueling practice schedules, unruly parents on the sidelines, and children struggling to balance their studies have made me hesitant to steer my kids towards team activities.
That was until last year when my daughter’s shyness began affecting her ability to connect with her peers in middle school. Tween girls can be a challenging crowd to fit in with, especially for a reserved, book-loving girl who isn’t particularly interested in boys. In our conversations about how she could gain confidence in social situations, she expressed a desire to try a team sport. She believed that joining a local basketball league would help her come out of her shell, as she had always enjoyed playing at school.
I enrolled her in a local team, thrilled to see her new teammates embrace her warmly. They showed incredible patience as she honed her skills, and watching her engage excitedly with her new friends during practice was a huge relief. We were on the right track, or so I thought.
That optimism quickly vanished at our first game. I was taken aback by how some parents felt it was acceptable to criticize young players. Hearing harsh comments about their children’s teammates and, worse yet, a mother’s disparaging remark about the number my daughter wore sent shockwaves through me.
What is wrong with you, Sports Parents? Have you forgotten that your child was once a novice too? My daughter is just beginning to learn the game at 12, which isn’t any easier than when your child started at 5 (or, as some would claim, right out of the womb). In fact, it’s more challenging for her because she has an audience of judgmental parents (yes, I’m looking at you) hurling criticism from the sidelines. My brave, beautiful daughter has to filter out the negativity while trying to play, and I must insist that if you can’t support kindly, you should step away from the game.
Before you yell at a player for a misstep, consider that they might be grappling with anxiety. You don’t know the courage it takes for that young boy just to show up and play. If you feel compelled to critique a child’s skill, maybe think about how you could assist them in improving instead. If you’re such an expert, why not share your talent to help rather than ridicule?
And when your star athlete gets pulled to give another player a chance, please, for the love of all that is good, keep quiet. Your child already enjoys the limelight for most of the game. Let the benchwarmer relish their fleeting moment in the sun. That child has been patiently cheering for your athlete all season and doesn’t need to hear you yelling, “Get my kid back in!” while trying to focus.
I understand that committing to a sports team requires a significant time investment. After countless hours of driving to practices and cheering from the sidelines, you want to see your child succeed. It can be frustrating when you feel another child isn’t pulling their weight, but remember: this isn’t the professional arena. It’s a recreational league, middle school soccer, not the big leagues. Until a talent scout shows up with a multi-million dollar contract for your kid, I kindly ask that you keep your comments to yourself—especially if you’re critiquing my child or any other player.
Let’s be real, your child is playing on the same team as mine, so the talent level is fairly equivalent. If your child were truly exceptional, wouldn’t they be on an elite team? Let’s stop the pretense. My child isn’t aiming for the NBA; she just wants to feel a bit less awkward during the tumultuous middle school years.
As a newcomer to this sports world, I’m learning alongside my daughter. Thank you, Sports Parents, for reminding me that I will never join Team Mean Parent. That squad’s playbook is simply unacceptable.
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Summary
This article emphasizes the need for sports parents to be supportive rather than critical of young athletes. It highlights the importance of encouraging children in recreational sports and recognizing that everyone starts somewhere. The author shares their personal experience as a parent of a child who is learning to navigate team dynamics and expresses a desire for a more positive sports culture.