In the realm of family dynamics, shared meals can be a precious opportunity for connection, yet they often fall short of fostering meaningful dialogue. My partner and I frequently sit down with our three kids for dinner, during which we typically pose the conventional question: “How was your day?” As expected, our older two, aged 10 and 8, respond with noncommittal shrugs, while our youngest, merely 3, gazes blankly at us. They then scrutinize the meal before them, as if it were a culinary crime, and request Mac and Cheese instead.
This scenario is all too familiar. While I maintain a strong rapport with my kids, eliciting substantial responses during mealtime has always been a struggle. I often ponder if my approach might be flawed.
Recently, I encountered the story of two brothers, Tom and Jake, who founded a successful T-shirt company called Life is Great. Their journey led me to reflect on whether I might be missing an opportunity by not asking the right question. In their book, aptly titled Life is Great, the brothers recount how their lives were altered by a tragic car accident involving their parents during their childhood. While their mother sustained only minor injuries, their father lost function in one hand, resulting in significant changes to their family dynamic. Their father became more irritable, struggling to adapt to his new reality. However, their mother took a different route, choosing to focus on positivity.
Every evening, she would ask her six children a simple yet profound question: “What was something good that happened today?” According to the Jacobs brothers, this question transformed their family’s atmosphere. John Jacobs mentioned in an interview with Business Insider that it encouraged them to avoid a victim mentality. Rather than venting about a difficult teacher or homework, they found joy in sharing stories about amusing haircuts or exciting school projects.
Reading about their experiences highlights the contrast to the usual indifference I encounter at my dinner table. It strikes me that this uncomplicated question—“What good thing happened today?”—could potentially yield a different response in my household.
The Jacobs brothers credit their mother’s nightly inquiry for shaping their future business endeavors. It instilled in them a belief that optimism, despite challenging circumstances, is a conscious choice. This outlook became the foundation for their Life is Great brand, which aims to promote positivity through its motto: “Life is not perfect. Life is not easy. Life is great.”
I understand that some readers may find this perspective naive, particularly those grappling with mental health challenges. I share this sentiment, as I have faced depression and anxiety for much of my life, and simply rising from bed can feel monumental. Yet, I can’t help but wonder if this small shift could serve as a powerful tool for my children. It might equip them to face the world and, if they do experience similar struggles, provide them with a mechanism to manage those feelings more effectively.
Tonight, when I gather with my three children, I plan to replace our usual inquiry with the one inspired by the Jacobs brothers. I will encourage them to share a positive moment from their day and share my own as well, hoping this simple change might influence their perspective on life—if only in a small way.
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In summary, integrating a simple question into daily family interactions may foster deeper connections and instill a sense of optimism in children, potentially shaping their outlook on life positively.