My daughter is ten years old and eager for me to download TikTok on my phone so she can create funny lip-sync videos. “Everyone has it,” she insists, including kids from families with serious jobs like FBI agents or social workers. So, I download the app while she’s at school, but to explore it, I need an account. I start with the name Chardonaynay47, but quickly change it to something less mom-like: gummibear9.
In a single word, my experience can be summed up: No way is my kid getting this app. TikTok appears innocent on the surface—just kids making music videos. However, it is much more than that; it features user-generated content from millions, which includes live streaming. It was during one of these live streams that I first encountered explicit content—an unfortunate incident involving a naked man.
Some might argue that kids will see such things eventually, so why not let them access it now? Friends who think I’m overreacting suggest I set the account to private to shield my daughter from potential predators. But that isn’t my primary concern. Imagine if you could make your child invisible and drop them off in a large warehouse filled with unknown people. Would you do it? Most parents wouldn’t, and for good reason. Even if your child’s account is private, they are still absorbing everything around them.
Consider this: social media platforms are like vast warehouses of human imagination. Sure, it sounds appealing, but whose imagination are our children stepping into?
Some parents believe that enabling parental controls will protect their kids from explicit content, but these measures couldn’t prevent the tragic case of a 12-year-old girl who took her own life after being cyberbullied across multiple platforms. There are no reliable parental controls on TikTok or many other social media apps. Most kids can easily delete messages or content, meaning parents often remain unaware of what their children are engaging with online.
Would you want your child to have unrestricted access to mine? I wouldn’t want that kind of exposure for my child either. Children and teens often lack the maturity necessary to navigate the complexities of social interactions and digital expression. They make impulsive decisions and can be cruel, and we are giving them a platform for unfettered public expression?
Now, back to TikTok. The explicit content isn’t the worst part. The real danger lies in witnessing young children, some as young as eight, objectifying themselves. The kids who succeed in gaining followers are often those who conform to certain standards, while those who fail are ridiculed mercilessly in the comments. The phenomenon of “TikTok Cringe Compilation” videos on YouTube, which can garner millions of views, further exacerbates the problem.
Things take a darker turn with the presence of coded language and hashtags that evade TikTok’s filters, such as “thot” and “fgirl.” The trends change rapidly, making it difficult for parents to keep up. I stumbled upon videos featuring kids mouthing lyrics about explicit content and even discovered a young boy with a username that was shockingly graphic.
Even worse, there are disturbing themes like #killingstalking, featuring dark artistic expressions of violence, and #selfharm videos that present alarming messages about suicidal thoughts. I encountered images that were so disturbing they left me shaken; videos depicting actual self-harm and the emotional pain of young children.
What’s alarming is that some kids attempt to help others who are struggling. This might seem heartwarming, but it’s misguided. Children shouldn’t have to bear the responsibility of saving their peers from despair, especially when they themselves are vulnerable.
You might be wondering whether parents are aware of what their children post or watch. The reality is, many parents are unaware. Take Dylan Klebold, for instance, one of the Columbine shooters. He was well-liked, came from a caring family, and yet his parents had no idea about his struggles. This illustrates that we often don’t know our children as well as we think we do. Their brains are developing and susceptible to outside influences, making it crucial to understand what they are exposed to online.
Now, how much time is your child spending on their phone? On average, kids aged 8 to 12 spend about four hours a day on screens, and teens often exceed that. What happens when these children grow up without the chance to explore their own identities away from social media?
If a child doesn’t maintain an online presence, they typically have a smaller social circle, which allows them to process their experiences more healthily. In the online world, however, there is no escape from ridicule. Mistakes are permanent and can haunt them indefinitely.
An online identity often equates to a commodified self. Kids quickly learn that their self-worth can be measured in likes and followers. This can lead to negative thought patterns, as they may compare themselves to others and feel inadequate. Studies indicate that girls as young as ten are struggling with body image issues exacerbated by social media use.
Could the tech industry do more to protect children? Perhaps organizations like the Gates Foundation could step in. Imagine if they incentivized kids to stay off social media until they were 16 by offering a cash reward. This could encourage healthier development during formative years.
In summary, TikTok and similar platforms pose various risks to young users, from explicit content to harmful social dynamics. While parents may strive to protect their children, the reality is that the online landscape is fraught with dangers that can be difficult to navigate.
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