I truly appreciate your thoughtful letter regarding the noise level of our little one. It’s always a delight to receive correspondence that isn’t a bill!
Your dedication to penning a three-page letter is commendable. I must apologize for our lack of shared email addresses; we should remedy that soon.
You mentioned that our toddler’s cries disturb your slumber at 6:00 a.m. I find it quite interesting that you haven’t enjoyed a sleep-in, “even” on weekends? Given that our child rises around 4:30, it’s a relief to know we’re not as loud as I feared!
Thank you for your generous offer to assist us in selecting a “proper” carpet, especially since you’re an interior designer. I’m curious, what exactly qualifies as a “proper” carpet when it comes to handling spills of poop, vomit, and spaghetti?
You suggested we take some toys outside for play. I’d be more than happy to bring our little one out for some “bang the toy” action on your air conditioning unit. Fresh air is invigorating, nearly as good as a nutritious breakfast—especially when tossed from a high chair!
You’re correct; I did introduce myself when you first moved in and let you know to inform us if we were too noisy. It reminds me of how your boyfriend might reassure you about your fashion choices.
You can hear my “choo-choo” sounds from the train book? Just so you’re aware, the air vents in our building are two-way. And by the way, I have my suspicions about your boyfriend; perhaps you might want to reconsider calling Sarah as often as you do—she doesn’t seem to be honest with you, but you can trust me.
I noticed you managing quite the balancing act with your green smoothie, coffee, and yoga bag in heels on your way to the SUV last Thursday. Your hair looked immaculate—definitely more styled than mine, which hadn’t been washed for days!
By the way, don’t forget to retrieve your West Elm package by the front door. I’d hate for my son to “accidentally” jump on the “fragile” sticker. Ah, the joys of mail!
Wishing you all the best,
The Upstairs Mom
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Summary:
This humorous letter from an upstairs neighbor addresses the complaints of a downstairs neighbor concerning noise from a toddler. It highlights the challenges of parenting while playfully responding to the neighbor’s suggestions. The author shares a light-hearted perspective on community living, offering a blend of sarcasm and understanding.