If I were to articulate my parenting aspirations, they would resemble the story of Goldilocks. I’m neither a Tiger Mom nor a Helicopter Mom; I maintain a pretty relaxed demeanor about many aspects of parenting, yet I wouldn’t label myself as a Free-Range Parent either. I aim for a balance. Or at least I attempt to.
However, if I’m being honest, there are times when I find myself being a complete pushover. I allow my children to jump on the furniture and toss balls around indoors. I don’t prohibit swearing, provided it isn’t directed at anyone, and I’m not overly strict about screen time. Given my own love for snacks, our pantry is stocked with an abundance of junk food. Our home is undeniably fun—until it isn’t.
Eventually, my typically sweet kids morph into little monsters, clamoring for ice cream after dinner, convinced that their five-hour Xbox sessions are far too brief. They become irritable and difficult, a far cry from their usual selves. My partner and I exchange glances filled with exasperation, silently questioning, “Who are these creatures?” It is at this moment that I realize I’ve lost control. I have officially become a full-blown Pushover Parent.
Regular bedtimes begin as flexible schedules, which quickly devolve into no bedtimes at all. A rare treat after dinner transforms into a free-for-all of sugary snacks. My relaxed stance on swearing and screen time ultimately turns my kids into slightly unruly, spoiled individuals.
Despite what you might think, this isn’t due to laziness. I’m many things, but lazy is not one of them. My role as a Pushover Parent doesn’t stem from a lack of care or involvement; rather, it’s a consequence of life circumstances. I may get preoccupied with work, and before I know it, hours have slipped away in front of the TV. My partner and I might intend to do something enjoyable with the kids—dinners out, movies, spontaneous trips to Chuck E. Cheese. Or I might be stress-eating chocolate bars for days and feel hypocritical banning them for my children.
Regardless of the reason for my Pushover Parent tendencies—whether it’s well-meaning intentions or the chaos of life—the results are rarely positive. It doesn’t take long for my once-kind children to become whiny, screaming, and downright feral. I dread being the enforcer, yet I know I must channel my inner Mean Mom when the situation demands it. Unfortunately, Mean Mom often only appears after Pushover Parent has completely lost the reins, allowing my kids to devour junk food while watching movies at midnight. Just kidding. Mostly.
Regaining control from my Pushover Parent phase is never enjoyable for anyone, and we all experience a period of adjustment as we transition back to a more structured lifestyle. Bedtimes are reinstated, the Xbox is switched off, and the junk food is stashed away. Eventually, we settle back into a routine where the kids become the well-rested, less irritable beings they should be. I become less of a pushover and more comfortable taking on the “mean mom” role when necessary. We find our groove again, establishing a healthier—albeit less thrilling—routine.
If you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, don’t worry. Being a Pushover Parent doesn’t equate to being a bad or lazy parent; it simply means you’re a loving and adaptable parent who occasionally lets things slip because, let’s face it, it’s much more enjoyable. You’re not causing irreparable harm or raising entitled brats, and it’s entirely possible to regain control—even if it means enduring some whining and a sugar withdrawal phase.
In time, you’ll reclaim your parenting rhythm, and all will feel right in your world. If you’re interested in related topics and resources, check out this blog post for more on home insemination. Additionally, Make a Mom is a great authority on fertility topics, and March of Dimes offers excellent support for those considering fertility treatments.
Summary:
Navigating the challenges of parenthood can sometimes lead to periods of being a pushover, where boundaries blur and chaos ensues. This article reflects on the balance of maintaining a structured yet fun household, emphasizing that occasional lapses into leniency don’t define one’s parenting capabilities. Recognizing when to take charge again is crucial for restoring harmony and ensuring children thrive in a nurturing environment.