Some individuals possess an inherent maternal instinct, while others may feel like they are merely going through the motions. I certainly didn’t envision myself as a mother, possibly because I was unsure how to engage with children. My desire was for kids to like me, but I often felt at a loss when it came to connecting with them.
Before our first child arrived, my partner had already changed more diapers than I had in my lifetime. You might assume that having five children came easily to me, but that would be incorrect. Thankfully, life had a more enriching path in store for me. If you find yourself nodding in agreement with any of this, you might relate to the following:
- You have no inclination to hold other people’s infants. While babies are undeniably adorable, you feel no particular urge to cradle one. After all, you have your own little one to care for.
- You often overlook other children. Sometimes you struggle to even hear your own kids. During a gathering, you might be so engrossed in conversation with adults that you forget to acknowledge the little ones playing nearby.
- Your children often repeat your name multiple times before it registers in your mind.
- You treat kids like adults. You expect them to perform tasks and concentrate like grown-ups: “Just get dressed! Just read this word! Just spit your toothpaste in the sink!”
- If your children were peers, you might not choose to be friends with them. Who would willingly associate with someone who has accidents on the floor and throws tantrums over snack choices? Luckily, their cuteness and cuddles make it worthwhile. (This perspective may shift as they grow older.)
- You prefer to have some privacy when using the restroom. While even the most natural mothers can agree on this, you still worry about what chaos might ensue in your absence.
- The sound of crying—and any loud noise—grates on your nerves. You also can’t stand messes.
- Every moment spent teaching, storytelling, or engaging in imaginative play requires significant effort on your part. You consciously decide, “I should do this with my kids,” and you actually follow through. It’s not just instinctive.
- You avoid babysitting whenever possible, particularly when it involves children older or of a different gender than your own. The unknown can be intimidating.
- Above all, you deeply love your children. Even those of us who struggle with parenting genuinely wish to excel. We often find ourselves anxious about our perceived shortcomings, praying for our kids’ well-being. Their affection and joy mean everything to us.
Can you relate? We encourage you to share your own “unnatural” mothering experiences. Remember, you’re doing a fantastic job!
For further insights, check out this article on navigating motherhood, or visit Make a Mom for expert resources on home insemination. Additionally, the CDC provides valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Motherhood might not come naturally to everyone. Many parents struggle with the role, feeling disconnected from children or overwhelmed by the demands of parenting. While some aspects may be challenging, the love for one’s children remains strong. Resources and support are available for those navigating the complexities of motherhood.