One evening, while taking a stroll with your older brother in his stroller, your dad offered to take over. I hesitated, unsure if I could stand up if I let go. After numerous tests and consultations, the diagnosis came through: I have multiple sclerosis, and I was enduring a lengthy flare-up at that time.
As we sat in the doctor’s office discussing the diagnosis and the next steps, the only words I could muster were, “This is serious.” It was the most significant challenge I had ever faced. My mind drifted to a family friend of my mother’s, who relies on a motorized wheelchair, and I felt the life I envisioned for us slipping away. The possibility of having you seemed impossible when a neurologist warned me, “Getting pregnant now could be detrimental to your health.” I understood the gravity of the situation; I could barely care for myself, let alone another child. At that moment, I wished it had been a brain tumor — something clear-cut and decisive.
However, after extensive research, I’ve gained a new perspective on MS, realizing it’s not as dire as I initially believed. A year and a half later, I find myself arguably healthier than ever. With the support of my new neurologist and obstetrician, here we are: your tiny life is blossoming within me, and my heart is brimming with hope. As we embark on this journey, I want you to know we have prepared for the challenges ahead. Our family will thrive together.
Embracing Uncertainty
First, we must embrace uncertainty. The future of my MS is unpredictable; I could face significant challenges such as losing my vision, my mobility, or even forgetting your name. Yet, there’s also a chance that I won’t. Whatever happens, I hope my MS fosters in you a deep sense of empathy and resilience that only comes from overcoming adversity.
Life is inherently uncertain for everyone, and we are fortunate to recognize this reality. I’ve learned to focus on what we can control and make the most of what we know for sure. For example, your older brother, despite being just two and a half, will guide you through life with a remarkable mix of wisdom and excitement. Your dad is extraordinary, always light-hearted, and ready to tackle any challenge. Together, we form an incredible team, and you can trust that we will navigate any uncertainties with determination, humility, and laughter. We are committed to providing you with the best life possible.
Seizing Opportunities
Additionally, we must seize opportunities while we can. Although I dislike running, I trained for and completed a 5K while I still had the chance. Many mothers may not pose for photos standing up, unaware that one day they might not have that ability. I am determined to live life to its fullest while I can. This means early morning swims at the YMCA because we are awake and able! It also means we’ll help our elderly neighbors, because we can and we should. Just a heads up, we don’t spend much time sitting around in this family!
Advocating for a Cure
Speaking of what we can do, we need to advocate for a cure for this disease. When I was diagnosed in 2016, little was known about the causes of MS. It’s believed to stem from a combination of environmental factors, genetic predisposition, and possibly a virus. It could affect anyone. No one knows why I have it, how severe it may become, or how to cure it. I hope that research progresses swiftly so that you don’t have to face MS yourself.
While hope is essential, my sister once said, “Hope is not a strategy.” She’s right; we must take action to combat this condition. We need to raise funds for research, celebrate advancements, and share our experiences with MS. Increased awareness, advocacy, and funding are crucial. I’m doing my part, and I look forward to seeing how you and your brother become advocates in this fight. We need another champion like you in our corner.
A Message of Love
I remain hopeful that by the time you read this, MS has had minimal impact on your life. If that hope doesn’t materialize, please know how deeply loved you are and how inspired I am to be your mom. You and your brother motivate me to prioritize my health. We are a resilient, optimistic family, and I will strive to instill these qualities in you. MS does not define me, and I am determined to ensure it does not define your life either. We can navigate this together. I love you endlessly.
In Summary
This piece reflects on living with Multiple Sclerosis while preparing for the arrival of a child. The author shares personal experiences, emphasizing hope, resilience, and the importance of living fully despite uncertainty. It advocates for awareness and encourages active participation in finding a cure for MS, while expressing profound love and commitment to the new child.