Does anyone have tips on making mom friends who aren’t looking to sell you products, judge your choices, or offer unsolicited parenting advice? I certainly don’t.
Just the other day, I thought I might have struck up a friendship at the park. We exchanged Facebook details after bonding over our kids’ antics. It’s a rare delight to connect with another mom who feels relatable. She could become my new best friend, or we might never communicate again. Regardless, I’ll probably be “liking” her daughter’s wedding photos in two decades thanks to social media.
So why is forging friendships with fellow moms so challenging? It mirrors dating, but instead of romantic dinners and flirtation, you’re met with confusion and awkward silences. Perhaps I’m just not cut out for this. In my time as a mother, I’ve yet to master the art of turning a stranger into a friend without feeling completely embarrassed in the process.
I do have friends, mind you. Many wonderful people have tolerated my “foot-in-mouth” moments throughout our relationships—bless their hearts. One time, after a few too many glasses of wine, I boldly told a woman, “We’re going to be friends!” Surprisingly, it worked out, even if my approach wasn’t the most graceful.
The Friendship Journey
Initial Contact
We often start with shy smiles across the playground, glancing at each other while our kids play. Maybe she’ll even smile back as our children dash off together.
The Come-On
Once we acknowledge each other, I gauge her receptiveness. If things seem promising, I might compliment her shoes or her diaper bag. “How old is your child?” becomes my classic opening line. If she asks back, it’s a sign she’s eager for adult conversation—don’t miss this chance!
The Conversation
Here’s where it gets tricky. We’re both trying to determine if we vibe on the same parenting wavelength. Do we share values? Is she a potential clingy friend?
Evaluating Awkwardness
Before we dive deeper, I assess if she’s a bit too eccentric, perhaps a mom who serves her kids only kale and dandelion stems. And let’s be real, nobody wants to become friends with someone who will spend the next decade trying to “save” you or promote essential oil kits.
The Exchange
If I feel she’s normal and not likely to preach or push products, we exchange information. “So, umm, our kids seem to get along. Should we, uh, you know…” “Oh! Yes! Are you on Facebook?” “Sure! But, uh… what’s your name again?” And just like that, we plan a playdate!
Setting Up the Playdate
Now comes the anxiety of reaching out. Should I invite her over, or is that too forward? A neutral location seems safest. How soon should I set this up? I don’t want to seem pushy, yet I also don’t want to lose momentum. I once met a woman at the library, and after a successful connection, I invited her to the park, but she canceled. Now, I’m left wondering who should take the next step. Was she blowing me off? Did she feel guilty and embarrassed? The uncertainty is maddening.
The Playdate
If we manage to navigate these hurdles and actually have a playdate, it’s a small victory! If it’s not a sales pitch or an impromptu babysitting arrangement, I might just gain a new friend.
The Outcome: Awkward Drop or BFF
If our kids mesh well and we click, we’re friends! However, sometimes it ends oddly. If you’re lucky, you can pinpoint what went wrong. If not, you may end up like me, with a pending friend request hanging in limbo, while engaging in small talk every day. What even is happening?!
Sometimes, it all aligns perfectly, and before you know it, you have a true friend—someone who’s witnessed your worst moments and still says, “Me too.” These women are true gems, and you should cherish them. But be cautious; there’s a fine line between friendship and clinginess.
Good luck out there, fellow moms. May the odds be ever in your favor as you navigate this friendship landscape!
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Summary
Making friends as a mom can feel like a daunting task, often resembling the awkwardness of dating. From the initial smile to navigating playdates, each step is fraught with uncertainty. Yet, when all goes well, it can lead to lasting friendships that provide invaluable support and understanding.