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10 Things You Should and Shouldn’t Say to a Friend Going Through Divorce
Navigating a divorce can be an emotional roller coaster, especially when it feels like the person you once committed to forever is now a total stranger. The process is tough enough without friends unintentionally complicating matters with their comments and suggestions. If you find yourself in the position of supporting a friend like Emma, who’s facing a divorce, keep these pointers in mind to help her through this challenging time.
What Not to Say and What to Say Instead
Don’t Say: You really shouldn’t talk about him so much; it’s not healthy to obsess.
Do Say: What’s something he did this week that made you want to pull your hair out? Seriously, he did that? What a total jerk!
Don’t Say: Here’s a nice plant for your new place!
Do Say: I thought about bringing you a plant for your new digs, but I figured it’d just be one more thing to keep alive. So instead, I brought this giant bottle of whiskey!
Don’t Say: Is this really the right time to buy a fancy new mattress?
Do Say: Let’s go shopping for some luxurious new sheets together! 800 thread count, here we come! My treat!
Don’t Say: You’re lucky to have extra time away from the kids.
Do Say: That sounds really tough, my friend. Can I grab you a drink? He’s such a jerk!
Don’t Say: Maybe exercising will help you feel better.
Do Say: You’ve been looking a little too thin lately, so I made you some delicious cookies!
Don’t Say: Just because we see him occasionally doesn’t mean we’re siding with him.
Do Say: We only see him because we’re gathering intel for you. Honestly, we don’t even like him—he’s a jerk!
Don’t Say: Why do you care that he’s already dating someone else?
Do Say: Let’s update your Tinder profile with some fabulous new pics! Time to show them what you’ve got!
Don’t Say: How about a mani-pedi?
Do Say: Want to go egg his new girlfriend’s house instead?
Don’t Say: Shouldn’t you focus on your kids before dating again?
Do Say: I saw that condoms were on sale at the drugstore yesterday, so I picked you up a few boxes!
Don’t Say: Now might not be the best time for adventurous new hobbies.
Do Say: Fair enough! But let’s talk about what you want to do next!
Remember, when supporting a friend like Emma through a divorce, it’s essential to offer her validation, support, and unwavering loyalty. And let’s be honest, her ex will likely always be a jerk.
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Summary
Supporting a friend through a divorce requires sensitivity and understanding. Replace judgmental comments with supportive and light-hearted suggestions to help them navigate their emotions. Remember, they need validation, a listening ear, and perhaps a drink or two to get through this tough time.