We’ve all seen the heartbreaking headlines: “Infant left in vehicle, tragically dies.” It’s a painful realization, striking deep within us. “What kind of parent would leave their child in the car?” we ponder, our emotions running high.
The truth is, it can happen to any parent—and I nearly fell into that category myself. I was a new mother, navigating life with two little ones under two: my daughter was just a year and a half old, and my son was only ten days old.
If you’ve been there, or are currently in the thick of it, you know that the initial month with a newborn can feel like tumbling down a rabbit hole. Day and night blur together, and your sense of normalcy is thrown out the window. A friend once advised me, “Don’t attempt to take it day by day—focus on getting through each minute.”
My son, a true newborn, would only sleep if I held him while standing and bouncing him gently, often serenading him with a slightly altered rendition of “Nothing but a G Thang.” Meanwhile, my daughter, who had been the center of attention until just days prior, decided that now was the perfect time to embrace the “Terrible Twos.” Between catnaps from my son, she was wide awake and ready to play. I was running on little more than caffeine, hormones, and pure adrenaline, with a thick haze of fatigue clouding my thoughts.
Here’s what happened the day I almost did something I’d never imagined I could: After returning from a morning coffee run, I was overwhelmed—my bladder was bursting, my daughter was complaining about not having enough blueberry muffin, my phone was ringing, and a loud radio show filled the car. In that chaotic moment, I forgot my son.
It was alarmingly easy to overlook the sleeping baby nestled in his rear-facing car seat. I momentarily lost sight of the fact that there was more than just my toddler in the vehicle crying for her snack. It wasn’t until I felt the heaviness in my chest from my milk-filled breasts and the unmistakable pang of the letdown reflex that I remembered my son.
“There but for the Grace of God go I,” I muttered as I lifted my sleeping baby into my arms. “There but for the Grace of God go I,” I repeated as he nuzzled against me, his soft head resting on my shoulder.
I am not a perfect mother, but I care deeply for my children and strive to do my best. From the moment I learned I was expecting my first child, I recognized that motherhood is a precious gift—not something to take lightly. To the parents who have tragically forgotten their little ones, resulting in unimaginable loss, I understand they, too, likely did their utmost.
But it’s so easy to slip into forgetfulness. Whether it’s a sleepless night, a sudden shift in routine due to school breaks, or a family emergency, all it takes is a momentary lapse. One moment of autopilot can lead to forgetting the most precious cargo we have.
How many of us have experienced similar lapses? Many of us have.
So how can we prevent such tragedies?
After my near-miss, I compiled a list of strategies to ensure I never forget my children in the car:
- Keep Essentials in the Backseat: Place your phone or wallet in the backseat. We’re trained to check for these items as we exit the vehicle, making it less likely to forget our child.
- Engage with Your Child: Talk to your baby, even if they’re asleep. Keeping up a gentle conversation can remind you they’re there.
- Set Reminders: Schedule daily alerts or emails to prompt you to check on your child.
- Team Up: Establish a system where a family member double-checks that all kids are safely accounted for.
- Leave a Reminder: Place a toy or diaper bag in the front seat to jog your memory.
- Dress Accordingly: In winter, leave your coat in the backseat; in summer, leave a shoe. You’ll quickly realize something is amiss.
- Utilize Technology: With the rise of these tragic incidents, various devices with alarms and sensors have been created to help parents remember their children.
Please take steps to keep your children safe. We all believe we’re not the type of parent who could forget their child. Yet, I’d wager that many of those who did thought the same.
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In summary, it’s crucial to recognize how easily any parent can overlook their child in moments of chaos. By implementing simple strategies and being aware of our routines, we can help ensure the safety of our little ones and prevent unthinkable tragedies.