My son faced a challenging year. As he transitioned from childhood to adolescence, my husband and I made the tough decision to end our marriage. We tried to keep our family together for our kids, but looking back, I’m uncertain if that was the right choice. It’s often said that divorce can be particularly difficult for teenagers, and having an empathetic and anxious son like mine made the situation feel almost unbearable.
His need for additional support manifested through rule-breaking at school and disrespectful behavior at home. Despite these challenges, I always believed he was a fundamentally good kid. Eventually, I had to accept that I couldn’t provide all the help he needed; he required professional guidance that I wasn’t equipped to give.
A friend first introduced me to cognitive therapy, which is a proactive approach to psychotherapy. This method challenges negative thought patterns about oneself and the world, aiming to modify unwanted behaviors and treat conditions like depression. Cognitive therapy can assist children in understanding how their thoughts, emotions, and physical responses are interconnected. Often, external factors can trigger stress and anxiety, even when they’re not fully aware of the sources.
Although my son wasn’t keen on discussing his feelings with a stranger, I thought cognitive therapy would suit him well because it focuses on identifying triggers and understanding the cause-and-effect relationship behind certain behaviors. It seemed like the right fit to equip him with coping tools and explain his feelings in a clear way.
Cognitive therapy has truly worked wonders for my son. I believe it has prevented him from falling deeper into negative patterns by providing him with insights I couldn’t offer. According to Dr. Sarah Thompson, a psychologist and member of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, this type of therapy is “evidence-based and highly effective,” helping individuals cultivate more realistic thinking grounded in facts. It addresses a wide range of issues, from behavioral challenges to emotional struggles.
Through cognitive therapy, my son began practicing meditation and breathing exercises. His therapist explained how factors like sleep and nutrition significantly impact mood, information that my son was more willing to accept from someone outside our family. Most teenagers, including mine, often dismiss what their parents say.
Not only did he start eating healthier and going to bed earlier, but he also felt empowered by making these choices himself after understanding how his brain functions without adequate sleep or nutrition. The therapist also highlighted how excessive phone usage and exposure to distressing music could negatively affect his mental state.
Since starting therapy, my son has gained more control over his triggers. He now recognizes how these triggers can lead to negative feelings, allowing him to set limits for his well-being. When he experienced anger and irritability, his therapist helped him visualize the situation in a way that made sense, equipping him with the tools to manage his emotions.
It has been months since I’ve needed to remind him to eat regularly or limit his phone usage. He has embraced the benefits of proper breathing techniques and taking a moment to think before reacting, steering clear of his previous impulsive behaviors.
The positive effects of cognitive therapy extend to me as well. Change doesn’t happen overnight for teenagers, and they won’t be perfect, even with the right tools. However, cognitive therapy has proven to be one of the most effective parenting resources for me. Understanding the roots of our emotions and having coping strategies empower us, and our kids are no different; they want to learn to improve their lives and advocate for themselves.
This journey has been life-changing for both my son and me, helping him gain a deeper understanding of himself.
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of divorce and adolescence can be overwhelming. Cognitive therapy provided my son with the tools he needed to cope with his emotions and understand the triggers behind them. This transformative experience has improved not only his well-being but also my perspective as a parent.