To the Individual Who Labeled My Three-Year-Old as ‘Flirtatious’

Abstract

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This narrative reflects on a recent vacation experience that incited a profound contemplation regarding the implications of labeling children in a sexualized context.

Vacation, a term that typically conjures images of leisure and relaxation, can vary greatly in its interpretation. For some, it may evoke thoughts of sun-kissed beaches, while others may envision snow-covered slopes. Our recent excursion was characterized by breathtaking landscapes, including bison traversing vast plains against a backdrop of majestic mountains. Amidst the thrill of navigating the Beartooth Highway with two children under ten, I found myself exhausted yet elated.

Upon arrival at the pool that evening, our collective fatigue was palpable. We sought respite from the confines of car seats, only to encounter an unexpected moment that would linger in my memory.

Swimming in natural hot springs had always been a wish of mine. My children, however, were less enthusiastic about the long drive to reach this surprise destination. They were eager to swim, but apprehensive about another lengthy journey. After a bit of persuasion, we were finally on our way.

As we reached the pool, I felt a surge of accomplishment. The joy on my children’s faces as they spotted the water was a reward in itself. The facility, while lacking in cinematic features, was ideal for young ones, with a shallow end and ample floating toys.

After assisting my children into their swimsuits, I relaxed in the chemical-free water, allowing my daughter to frolic without the constant worry that typically accompanies her safety. It was a moment of tranquility until I noticed you.

Seated in the shallow end, you appeared relaxed, engaging with the children around you. However, my instincts, honed by motherhood, prompted caution. When my daughter darted towards a pink water ball in your vicinity, I followed closely behind.

She, a newly-minted three-year-old, is naturally exuberant and delights in attention. While she may have looked your way with a giggle, it was your subsequent comment that struck me: “You have a very flirtatious little girl.”

The use of the term ‘flirtatious’ sent a ripple of discomfort through me. I responded, “She’s not flirtatious. She’s just a little girl,” and chose to move away.

Later, I shared this incident with my husband, who, in his fairness, suggested that your comment may have been benign. My mother-in-law echoed this sentiment. However, they were not present to witness the interaction that had unsettled me.

To clarify, ‘flirtatious’ is defined as behavior suggesting a playful sexual attraction. The notion of a child, at such a tender age, embodying this characteristic is deeply troubling. Children, at three years old, are still learning the basics of gender identity and should not be perceived through a sexual lens.

This encounter left me feeling uneasy. While some might dismiss the term as innocuous, labeling children in such a way inherently contributes to the troubling sexualization of youth.

To you, the gentleman by the pool, your intentions may have been innocent, but the implications of your words resonated deeply. I now recognize that even the most innocent interactions can provoke unsettling considerations regarding how children, especially girls, are perceived by adults.

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In summary, the experience serves as a poignant reminder that children should be seen as innocent beings, devoid of adult projections, and that language matters in shaping perceptions.