In April, during a routine orthodontic appointment, an unexpected topic arose. “The prom is in May,” my son Eli stated, prompting my attention to shift from the road to his words. Eli, seventeen years old and on the Autism Spectrum, had never expressed an interest in attending the prom before. His one-on-one aide, Mrs. Thompson, had mentioned that she knew who he might want to accompany. Intrigued, I asked, “Who?”
“Lila and Sarah,” he replied. These girls were classmates of his, though I was aware they were neurotypical students. Eli attended special needs classes, and I knew that during past outings, he had a one-on-one aide while they did not.
“Do they have boyfriends?” I inquired, trying to gauge the situation.
“I don’t think so. I never see them talking to any boys,” he responded innocently. This revelation was surprising; Eli was not only contemplating prom but also observing social dynamics.
As it turned out, Lila did indeed have a boyfriend, and Sarah was also taken, yet they kindly offered to dance with Eli. Mrs. Thompson assured us she would attend to capture photos and support him throughout the event.
However, a week before the prom, Mrs. Thompson accepted another position, leaving us in disarray. The prom was to be held at a local venue known for hosting such events, with dinner scheduled from 6 p.m. to 7:30 p.m., followed by dancing.
In the days leading up to the event, I inundated Mrs. Thompson with questions: “Should he arrive when it starts?” “Will Lila and Sarah save him a seat?” “Won’t it be awkward since they have dates?” “How loud is the music?” “They won’t forget him, right?”
A new complication arose when one of Eli’s teachers expressed concern about supervision. “Why does he need supervision? Do all students attending prom have someone watching them?” I questioned, exasperated by the assumptions surrounding my son.
“He has a disability,” my husband interjected, exasperated. “He needs assistance.”
“With what?” I retorted. “He’s just going to dance with Lila and Sarah, have a soda, and leave. He’ll probably stay for only fifteen minutes.”
This sparked a heated discussion about underestimating Eli’s capabilities due to his autism. No one seemed to recognize his desire to simply enjoy a typical high school experience. A suggestion emerged: “Maybe you could chaperone the prom!”
I promptly dismissed this. “No, Eli knows better than to bring his mom to such an event.” Although I thought supervising a prom might be entertaining, Eli’s desire to fit in was paramount.
Mrs. Thompson suggested other students would look out for him. “They’re great with him,” she reassured me. Ultimately, we decided I would wait in the car while he attended. He could enjoy the event, have a drink, dance, and leave whenever he wished. With a book in hand, I anticipated a short outing.
“Have fun, sweetheart,” I said as he eagerly exited the car, dressed in dress pants, a button-down shirt, and a tie—quite the departure from his usual attire of pants without buttons or zippers.
From the parking lot, I could hear the booming music. I read a chapter, then another, and eventually needed the restroom. Had it already been forty-five minutes? I continued reading and played a game on my phone.
Finally, after nearly two hours, Eli emerged, exclaiming, “I danced with Lila and Sarah!” His excitement was palpable. “I didn’t even recognize them at first!”
In a softer tone, he added, “They looked like princesses,” revealing a sense of wonder.
“They looked pretty?” I asked, confirming his feelings.
“Yeah. So, you can understand why I have a ‘crush’ on them,” he said with an exaggerated gesture for emphasis. “I like good times.”
As we drove home, Eli enthusiastically recounted his experiences. His repetition of certain details didn’t diminish his joy, which radiated from his words. He had participated in a quintessential teenage experience, and his pride was evident.
I shared in his pride and felt a sense of vindication; never underestimate a child with autism. Their potential to surprise is remarkable. For more insights into the complexities of parenting, including the journey of home insemination, you can explore related topics on our blog here: privacy policy. Additionally, for resources related to artificial insemination, check out Cryobaby and IVF Babble.
Conclusion
In summary, Eli’s experience at prom exemplifies the importance of inclusion and the extraordinary moments that can arise from seemingly ordinary events.