Why do I feel constantly irritable? Why does my mood seem to swing downwards more often than not? Why do I sometimes feel as though happiness is just out of reach? To be frank, it’s largely because of you.
The responsibilities of our life together—my world, our children’s world, and even your world—often feel like they rest solely on my weary shoulders, and it’s becoming overwhelming.
I cherish being the one our kids turn to when they need something. It brings me comfort to know that I am their safe haven. Yet, I wish I didn’t have to wear all these hats alone. I didn’t bring our kids into this world by myself, and I certainly don’t want to navigate this journey solo while maintaining an upbeat demeanor. If that’s what you expect from me, then you’ve made a mistake.
I’m running on empty.
So, when I’m in the bathroom, it would be great if you could set down the gaming controller and fetch our kids a drink while they’re clamoring for my attention. “Mommy, I need this. Mommy, I need that.” As I’m trying to finish what I’m doing, it can get a bit ridiculous.
Why do I snap at you or feel perpetually exhausted? Because your support isn’t what I need it to be. It feels like my cries for help go unheard. You know I can manage to keep everything afloat, so my struggles seem to get overlooked.
Yet, you don’t seem to recognize how I’m faring—emotionally, physically, or mentally—because I’m always pushing through for our kids, even when I feel like I’m on the verge of collapse. I need genuine help from you, not just a casual acknowledgment of my efforts.
You’ve taken my resilience for granted. You see how I hustle around here, and even if I complain occasionally, you don’t take it seriously. I pour everything I have into this family, but I feel that my efforts go unnoticed.
I’m running low, and that’s not acceptable.
I don’t aspire to be a stereotypical housewife, yet somehow you keep trying to box me into that. It’s exhausting, and it’s infuriating. You need to understand that.
Please, either overlook the mess or lend a hand in sorting it out. How many times have you done the dishes in the last six years? Maybe ten? I can count the times you’ve helped out, especially during my hospital visits, on one hand.
How can you critique the state of our home when I’m juggling a full-time job while caring for four little ones? I’m tired of your complaints about the laundry and clutter. It feels like you’re just grumbling for the sake of it, and I’m fed up.
So, when you wonder why I’m frantically tidying up and huffing in frustration, maybe ask yourself: How have I contributed today?
I know you work hard outside of the home, and I acknowledge that. But it’s important to remember that my job, while different, is just as demanding. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m not doing much, but keeping up with our kids is a monumental task.
Also, I’ve never been a neat freak, and you’ve known me long enough to realize that. I won’t be changing for you. I prioritize quality time with our kids over maintaining a spotless house. I refuse to have regrets about the time I spend with them.
And frankly, I need to know when I’ll have the chance to do simple things for myself again. I know these moments are fleeting, but sometimes I just want to use the bathroom in peace without a little voice reminding me how to do it.
It’s adorable, but I could really use two minutes of quiet to think. I miss spending time with friends, and I hardly ever get a moment for myself. I’m tired of being the caretaker with no one to care for me in return. That’s on you.
I’m stretched thin and reaching my breaking point. Do you even care, or are you oblivious to what it’s like to be the mom I am?
My needs, wants, and aspirations are valid. I do enough; I am enough. My role as a mother doesn’t define every aspect of who I am. So, please stop trying to mold me into something I’m not and then wonder why I feel frustrated. It should be clear.
Resources for Further Reading
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Summary
The author expresses frustration with their partner for not providing adequate support in parenting and household responsibilities. They feel overwhelmed by the weight of family obligations and yearn for recognition and assistance. The piece highlights the emotional toll of parenting and the need for partnership and understanding within a relationship.