As I sit down to write this, I find myself wishing we could chat face-to-face, perhaps enjoying a warm cup of tea together. I imagine looking into your eyes as I share these thoughts, hoping to convey the warmth and understanding I feel for you. I would love to hold your hand and offer a comforting hug, even though I’m not typically one for physical affection. That’s how much I care about you and everyone else navigating this journey.
Even though we can’t be together in person, I want to express the connection we share, something that only we truly understand. You and I have both had an abortion—a deeply personal experience that binds us, yet our stories may differ significantly. I’m not here to pry into your reasons or compare our experiences. Instead, my purpose is to offer you love and support, affirming that you are seen and valued.
Regardless of whether your abortion was recent or occurred many years ago, your feelings about it are valid. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Let’s start with the simple truth: You are a good person. You are not defined by the choice you made; you are filled with goodness and light, despite the complexities surrounding your experience.
A friend once profoundly impacted my life with a single statement. While sharing my struggles, I referred to certain aspects of myself as “ugly.” She paused and told me, “Every part of your story is welcome here, none of it is ugly.” That sentiment has stayed with me, and I want you to know the same: every facet of your story, every emotion you carry, is welcome here.
For Those Who Feel Relief
To those who feel relief following their abortion, I see you. You don’t need to apologize for feeling that way. Embrace your relief and remember your reasons for making that choice. You are not selfish for continuing to pursue your happiness.
For Those Grappling with Grief
For those grappling with grief, I see you too. The weight of unacknowledged sorrow can be the heaviest to bear. Your feelings are legitimate, and you have the right to mourn this loss. You don’t have to justify your grief here; you can simply experience it.
If You’re Feeling Regret
If you’re feeling regret, I understand. It’s challenging when society tells us to “move on” or to have no regrets. I won’t offer platitudes; instead, I urge you to forgive yourself. Recognize that you made the best choice you could at the time. Embrace both the part of you that made that decision and the part of you that is here now. Show them both compassion.
To Anyone Struggling with Shame
To anyone struggling with shame, I am here for you. Shame is not a reflection of who you are. It thrives in secrecy, silence, and judgment. Unfortunately, abortion often becomes a breeding ground for these feelings. However, sharing our stories with empathy can help diminish shame’s power. If you’ve felt unable to share your experience, I am truly sorry for the isolation you’ve endured.
Remember, you are worthy of love and understanding. Your story does not need to be hidden; it can be brought into the light, embraced by compassion. Whether your abortion felt easy or difficult, whether you feel a mix of emotions or none at all, it’s all okay.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Let’s carry these feelings together. Your story deserves to be voiced, whether through spoken words, written reflections, or quiet affirmations to yourself. If you need a space to express your feelings, I genuinely want to create that space for you.
What Do You Need?
I’m here to offer my friendship and support. Friends create safe havens for one another, where we can share our joys and sorrows, laugh and cry, and simply be human. You are invited into this safe space, a place where you and your abortion are embraced and loved. Every part of your story is welcome here.
So come on over.
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In summary, this letter serves to create a welcoming space for anyone who has experienced abortion, validating all emotions surrounding the experience. Whether you feel relief, grief, regret, or shame, know that your feelings are legitimate and you are not alone. Let’s embrace this journey together, ensuring that every part of your story is honored and loved.