As spring approaches, parents of high school seniors brace themselves for the inevitable transition. Those longer days and milder temperatures serve as a reminder that the moment of parting is drawing near. Your child, now on the brink of adulthood at 18, is eager to break free from the home you’ve nurtured for nearly two decades.
Here’s some advice for navigating this emotional journey—feel free to take it or leave it, but it might just help you through the bittersweet experience of your child moving out. Yes, they are indeed leaving, heading out into the world where daily face-to-face interaction will be a thing of the past.
The pride in their achievements and the love for their adventurous spirit will soon be put to the test. So, it’s time to step up and assist them as they embark on this new chapter. I’ve walked this path, offered my supportive hugs, and encouraged my child to make friends and embrace new opportunities. Then, I sobbed my way home while my partner kept asking, “Are you alright?” Spoiler alert: I wasn’t.
From that moment onward, your life will shift. Your routine will change, and while it’s natural to feel sadness, it’s also a universal experience—families don’t stay together forever. Let’s prepare for this transition and tackle the challenge of your child leaving home with grace.
Here are five practical tips to help you cope with your child moving out:
- Assist in Packing, but Let Them Take the Lead.
It may sound straightforward, but you’ll be surprised by what your child overlooks. Spend some time reviewing the college packing list, and take them shopping for essentials like a shower caddy and shower shoes. New towels can ease your worries about dorm hygiene, so don’t hesitate to pick up a few. Fold them together and pack them away. This moment can be an emotional one, and it’s okay to shed a tear or two—your child won’t be leaving wet towels on the floor anymore, which is a small victory for you. - Embrace the Power of Lists.
Universities often provide packing lists, bathroom essentials, and even guidelines for approved appliances (yes, really!). Following these lists not only ensures that your child has everything they need but also gives you a sense of accomplishment. Trust me, it’s therapeutic. - Have Open Discussions About Finances.
It’s crucial to have ongoing conversations about budgeting. While a single discussion might seem sufficient, my 20-year-old still receives “budget check-ins” several times a year. Money management is a vital life skill, so normalize these conversations. Encourage them to enjoy life while being mindful of expenses. If those striped overalls for game day bring joy, let them make the purchase—but remind them to balance it with their budget. - Be Their Parent, Not Just Their Friend.
It’s tempting to take the easy route and be a friend, but your love runs deeper than that. Guide them, set boundaries, and hold them accountable. College is their job now, and you are their supervisor. Schedule regular check-ins to discuss their progress. They might roll their eyes, but it’s essential to their growth. - Say “Goodbye” and Let Go.
One friend likened walking away from their child’s dorm as if they left behind a part of themselves. The ache is real, so prepare for it. When the moment comes, look them in the eye, express your faith in their abilities, and walk away with a smile—even if it feels forced. They need to see that you are okay. I held my breath all the way to the parking lot, but I knew my child was watching.
Remember, you’ve spent 18 years preparing them for this moment. The holidays will come around, and they will be home again before you know it.
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Summary:
Saying goodbye to your college freshman can be a challenging experience for parents. By helping them pack, embracing organization, discussing finances, maintaining parental authority, and mastering the art of saying farewell, you can navigate this transition with confidence. Remember, it’s all part of the journey, and soon enough, they’ll return for the holidays.