Not long ago, I attended a work event and encountered a young girl on the sidewalk selling her handmade jewelry. She explained that the proceeds would help her mother cover a phone bill. Feeling generous and touched by her initiative, I bought a bracelet that caught my eye and told her to keep the change. This blue, knotted piece of yarn has become a constant presence on my wrist, featuring a single word: FREE. This bracelet is a tangible symbol of my newfound independence, a reminder that I no longer have to conform to someone else’s expectations. After years of being in a relationship, it’s liberating to embrace my autonomy.
The divorce process can be challenging, and life as a single parent comes with its own set of difficulties. Yet, there are significant advantages to being divorced, which I’ve come to appreciate. Here are 21 reasons why I cherish my independence:
- I call the shots. In my marriage, I often deferred to my husband’s preferences, whether it was about household chores or meal choices. Now, I make the decisions that suit me.
- Food freedom. I can indulge in my favorite snacks, like Ben & Jerry’s at midnight, without worrying about judgment.
- Financial control. No more worrying about unexpected expenses; I manage my finances, track my spending, and take full responsibility for my money.
- Less worry. Late nights used to be filled with anxiety about when he would come home. Now, I enjoy my evenings without that stress.
- Clutter-free living. I appreciate the absence of extra mess. I keep my home tidy and organized, enjoying the space without additional chaos.
- I make my own plans. My schedule is mine alone, with no need to accommodate anyone else’s agenda.
- No need for validation. I spent too long trying to please my spouse. Now, my feelings and opinions are all that matter.
- Wardrobe choice. I dress for myself and buy what I want, even if my budget is tight.
- No more criticism. I take responsibility for my mistakes but appreciate not having someone else pointing out my flaws.
- Personal space. I have my own closet, dresser, and bed—sleeping alone is often a relief.
- TV time is mine. The remote is all mine after the kids go to sleep.
- Holidays my way. I can choose to celebrate with my family or take a break if the kids are with their father.
- I set my pace. I’m punctual and have no one to wait for anymore.
- Love is possible again. The dating world feels open and full of possibilities, even if I’m not ready to remarry.
- I control bedtime. I can relax and go to bed whenever I choose, without distractions.
- Lower stress levels. Being single reduces the pressures of a relationship.
- My opinions matter. I’m free from arguments and can enjoy a peaceful life.
- Creative expression. I’m pursuing my interests, whether writing or painting, and believing in my potential.
- No more excuses. I don’t have to defend anyone else’s actions; I’m my own person.
- I drive. No more white-knuckle rides in the passenger seat; I’m in control of my journey.
- I shape my future. I don’t regret my past choices; I focus on raising my wonderful children and look forward to what’s next.
For too long, I compromised my identity. Now, I wear my bracelet as a reminder of my independence and the freedom I’ve gained.
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Summary
Embracing divorce has its challenges, but it also brings many opportunities for independence and personal growth. From financial autonomy to creative expression, life post-divorce can be liberating and fulfilling.