I’m here to share a story that serves as a dire warning for new and seasoned fathers alike. Thankfully, this tale has a happy ending (and not the kind you’re thinking!). My husband and I are still happily married, which I take as a good sign.
After the birth of our third child (a hefty little girl who felt like a bowling ball), I found myself a bit sore, but determined to shower the next day with my mother’s help. Emerging from the hospital bathroom, I felt a mix of exhaustion and refreshment. I couldn’t wait to lay down and relax while the baby napped. However, that’s when things took a turn for the worse.
The disaster unfolded like this:
Husband: “I sent some pictures to my coworkers to show them the baby. They turned out great, right?”
Me (glancing at the photos): “You must be joking!”
Husband: “No, why not? They look fine!”
Me (raising my voice): “OH MY GOD! You’re serious? The one with you, me, and the baby is right after delivery and I’m not covered! It looks like a crime scene! Did you even look at them?”
Husband (panicking): “Well, I did! I even had your brother check them before sending!”
In that moment, my family was present, and my brother’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He attempted to defend them both, saying, “We were just admiring your faces; it was a cute family moment… well, from the waist up!”
With my father laughing and my mother horrified, my head was throbbing as badly as my postpartum body. My husband quickly realized the gravity of the situation, repeating, “Oh no, how did I miss that?”
In disbelief, he mumbled, “Why would anyone take this picture? Who does that?”
It took every ounce of restraint for me to keep from losing it. “YOU ASKED THE NURSE TO TAKE THE PHOTO! AND HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE CROP TOOL ON YOUR PHONE? GET IT TOGETHER!”
He rushed into the bathroom to call his manager but stumbled on the number in his phone. After finding an alternate number, this is how it went down:
Husband: “Oh, hey! How’s it going? The baby is great, and my wife is doing really well! So, um, I sent you some photos that I need you to NOT look at and delete immediately. Trust me!”
His boss probably thought he was sending something inappropriate, and he wouldn’t have been wrong!
Husband: “So you didn’t receive anything from me? I sent those at least 10 minutes ago.” My horror escalated as I feared the worst—a stranger receiving those images.
Husband (nervously chuckling): “If you do get them, please don’t share them with anyone at work. I, uh, sent one that definitely shouldn’t have been included. Ha! Thanks!”
After hanging up, I contemplated asking for another epidural to make the madness stop.
He returned from the bathroom, looking sheepish, and saw multiple failed message alerts on his phone. It turned out he had accidentally sent the photos to his manager’s home phone instead. Thank goodness for that; it aged me by at least five years! I entered the hospital at 38 and left just two days later feeling like I was 43.
Lessons learned:
- My husband should not have access to a smartphone with photo capabilities for at least a week post-birth.
- He needs a woman to review anything he plans to send out, as it’s clear both he and my brother missed the obvious. No woman would overlook that!
- I can use this story as a humorous yet horrifying lesson for our kids about the perils of accidental sexting by their parents.
If you’re curious about navigating the challenges of parenting or want more insights on other fertility topics, check out this article on intracervical insemination. It’s a great resource for those exploring their options. For a more in-depth look at the fertility journey, you can visit Make a Mom. And for comprehensive information about pregnancy, the CDC provides excellent resources here.
In summary, my husband’s monumental blunder serves as a cautionary tale about the potential pitfalls of technology during such a vulnerable time. It’s a humorous reminder of how even the best intentions can lead to chaos.