My children were born just as social media was taking off. I vividly recall warning my husband that if he shared any unflattering photos of me during childbirth, there would be serious consequences. However, once we welcomed our little ones home, platforms like Facebook became invaluable.
It was a breeze to share snapshots of my son’s first real smile or clips of his infectious laughter with friends and family all at once. This saved me from sending countless individual texts, and their immediate reactions helped me through those exhausting early months. During those late-night feedings, Facebook provided entertainment and a sense of community with fellow new moms. I was genuinely thankful for any connection at all.
Living 1,000 miles away from my family, Facebook helped bridge that gap, making me feel less isolated. My parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends often expressed their gratitude for the updates, feeling like they could still witness my children growing up despite the distance. That knowledge warmed my heart and motivated me to keep posting regularly.
I remember visiting my in-laws one weekend, enthusiastically sharing how beneficial social media was for tired new parents. Babies can be quite noisy, making meaningful phone calls rare. While texting was convenient, not many people appreciate a 3:00 a.m. message.
I offered to assist my mother-in-law in setting up an account so she could stay connected with her grandchildren. She frowned and declined, stating she wasn’t interested in Facebook, not wanting everyone to know her business. I explained the privacy settings, assuring her she could customize her account to limit access. I reassured her that she could simply use Facebook to view her grandkids’ photos and videos without feeling pressured to engage.
Sadly, her answer remained no. She insisted that it shouldn’t be that difficult for me to call or text to keep in touch. I left feeling somewhat defeated.
Fast forward 12 years, and my children are now tweens. I still actively use Facebook, posting updates regularly. Family and friends often thank me for allowing them to see my kids grow and develop from afar. When we gather, it feels like no time has passed because they are already in the loop. When they call my kids, they know to ask about soccer, scouts, piano, or our latest adventures. Facebook has been a significant factor in maintaining those connections.
In contrast, when we visit my in-laws, the vibe feels different. There’s a noticeable gap. They are aware of the major milestones in my kids’ lives, but miss out on the small, everyday moments that paint a fuller picture. I’ve once again suggested they join Facebook, but they continue to decline. This decision weighs on me because it feels like they are willingly missing out on so much related to their grandchildren.
I’ve tried to empathize with their perspective as grandparents. Would I create a Facebook account just to see pictures of my grandkids? Without a doubt. Would I set aside my reservations about social media to avoid missing precious moments? Absolutely. At the end of the day, while social media has its downsides, it has also allowed me to maintain connections with friends and (most of) my family despite the physical distance.
I just wish my in-laws shared the same sentiment.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the distance created by my in-laws’ refusal to engage with social media, contrasting their experience with the connections I maintain through platforms like Facebook. While I appreciate the benefits of sharing updates and keeping family close despite miles apart, it’s disheartening to see them choose to miss out on the small, everyday joys of their grandchildren’s lives.