As I entered the kitchen, I spotted my partner, Lily, engrossed in her phone. I approached her from behind, wrapped my arms around her waist, and placed a gentle kiss on her neck. She shivered playfully, then turned to me, and I launched into a theatrical dip kiss reminiscent of classic films. She chuckled as we shared a kiss, and I winked at her before leaning in for another quick peck.
It was then I noticed my son, Jake (12), and my daughter, Mia (9), working on their homework at the table nearby. Mia beamed at us, clearly enjoying the moment, while Jake looked on with an expression that suggested he was witnessing something utterly shocking, mouth slightly agape, eyes wide in disbelief.
Lily and I have never explicitly discussed why we display affection in front of our children, but I know my reasons. When I was nine, my parents went through a tumultuous divorce. I don’t have many memories of them together, and the few I do have mostly involve arguments. However, there’s one moment that stands out vividly in my mind: my dad in tight jeans and a button-up shirt, and my mom in a flowery dress, both playfully measuring their heights back to back. When my dad caught her trying to cheat by standing on her toes, they burst into laughter, and he swept her into a dramatic dip kiss. I remember watching from the hallway, grinning from ear to ear. That snapshot of joy shaped my understanding of a loving relationship.
Sadly, those moments of affection were rare. My father passed away while divorcing his fourth wife, and my mother is now on her third marriage. The only affection I recall between them and their partners was fleeting, almost nonexistent. I don’t want that for my children; I want them to grow up expecting healthy, playful affection in their relationships.
It’s essential they witness not just physical affection, but also hear words of love. I can’t recall my parents ever saying “I love you” or going out on dates. In contrast, I tell Lily daily how much she means to me, and she reciprocates. We hold hands in front of our kids and involve them in meaningful gestures, like buying flowers for their mother. I want them to learn that love is an active expression of care.
Lily has a passion for gardening. After we moved into our new home last year, I built her garden beds, and as we filled them with dirt, Jake asked why we were doing all this when neither of us enjoyed gardening. I paused, looked at him, and asked if he loved his mother. He nodded, and I explained, “This is what love looks like. We support those we care about.”
By showing affection, I hope to offer my children the example I lacked growing up. I want them to understand that love is more than a feeling; it’s a series of actions and words. I want them to feel comfortable expressing their affection and to recognize its importance.
When Jake witnessed Lily and me sharing a kiss in the kitchen, we didn’t explain ourselves. Instead, we called out, “Hug sandwich!” and squeezed him between us. While he pretended to resist, eventually, he relaxed and wrapped his arms around us, smiling despite his initial reluctance.
In conclusion, by being affectionate in front of our kids, we aim to instill a sense of healthy love and bonding that they can carry into their future relationships. For more insights on family and relationships, be sure to check out our other posts on home insemination.