“Ugh, I miss those days when my kids were that little. Cherish every second!” A woman told me this while I stood at the pharmacy, juggling my second son who was clinging to me while dealing with yet another bout of mastitis. My 2-year-old was trying to escape, and I was doing my best to keep him from wreaking havoc in the aisle.
Just a side note: I’m pretty sure the pharmacy has security footage of me wrestling to keep my toddler from darting out the door, with the automatic doors opening and closing in sync with his shouts.
In that moment, I wasn’t savoring anything. I was just trying to manage the pain in my chest and the chaos of having two young kids. One child feels manageable, but two? It’s a whole different ballgame. And even one child can be overwhelming.
Now, before diving further, I want to express some gratitude. Yes, it’s essential to acknowledge this, especially when others may judge. I’ve faced significant challenges in my journey to motherhood and I’m thankful every day that I’m able to raise my children. But let’s be real:
Being a mom is tough.
It’s even tougher when the world seems to forget how demanding parenting can be at every stage. You hear it everywhere — at the park, the library, or while you’re waiting for your turn at the salon:
- “Just wait until they start walking; that’s when it gets real.”
- “Just wait until they hit two; it’s a game-changer.”
- “Just wait until they join sports; you’ll see!”
- “Just wait until they start dating; then you’ll really understand hard!”
How about we stop the fearmongering, okay? Each stage brings its own challenges, and we all have a tendency to look back through rose-colored glasses.
To the moms of little ones: I see you. And I won’t tell you to cherish every moment. You’re in survival mode, and that’s perfectly fine. You’re on duty every single hour of the day, and the pressure to be the perfect mom is relentless.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the demands of parenting: sunscreen, playground safety, nutrition, and more. You might feel like you’re barely hanging on, and then someone suggests you should be savoring every fleeting moment.
Listen: You’re doing an amazing job, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Yes, you can enjoy your baby’s laughter and the cuddles, but don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for not soaking it all in perfectly. Most of us look back at those early years as a blur punctuated by a few beautiful memories — often highlighted by those “on this day” reminders on social media.
Nostalgia is perfectly human, but it shouldn’t lead to guilt. You have enough on your plate, and you don’t need anyone projecting their experiences onto you. When you eventually come out of this chaotic phase, you’ll see a mom with a tiny bundle and think, “Ah, sweet baby.” You might even offer her some wisdom if she asks, but you’ll also know how to navigate what comes next.
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In summary
Motherhood is a rollercoaster filled with challenges, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Cherish the small moments, but don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking you should be savoring every single second. You’re doing great, and this phase won’t last forever.