Two little ones in just over a year—that’s how I found myself in this whirlwind of motherhood. My entire existence has been consumed by this role, to the point where I struggle to remember what it feels like to have a moment to myself, let alone chase after my own hobbies and interests. The demands of raising these tiny humans—comprising what feels like six million smaller, often overlapping, tasks—have made me lose sight of who I am outside of this identity.
Time seems to be racing by, and here I am, the mom who receives sideways glances as I try to wrangle my tantrum-throwing toddler in one arm and a car seat crammed with a not-so-sleeping baby, along with my keys, wallet, and phone that had just been tossed to the ground. How can I slow this freight train down?
They say I’m in the weeds, submerged under an unyielding avalanche of responsibilities. And let me be honest—it’s tough, really tough. I won’t claim that every moment is worth it, even though I know deep down that my children are invaluable. I want to be open because that’s what I would appreciate. Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the hardest jobs out there—frustrating, mind-numbing, filled with both monotony and chaos, physically exhausting, and stress-inducing. I compare this stage of my life to the experience of natural childbirth, something I’ve gone through twice. It’s hard to articulate; you just have to live it to understand. Yet, even in this challenging situation, I can’t say for certain that I’d want to change anything.
Amidst the uncertainty and love lies a longing to be more than just a mom. Recently, I logged into my long-neglected LinkedIn account, only to find it outdated; my job title still stated “K-12 teacher,” which I hadn’t been for nearly three years. As I updated my profile, a wave of realization hit me—who am I?
I pondered how to convey to the world that I—a woman who spent years striving toward independence and authority—now find myself at home, often in pajamas, singing Disney songs and engaging in imaginative play. How did I end up here, and why can’t I find contentment? This role, while immensely challenging, feels invisible in our society.
How often have I downplayed my role by saying, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom”? Just? I put in more effort before 9 AM managing my household than I ever did in a classroom or a business. I juggle breakfast, playdates, laundry, and nap times, with the clock never truly hitting five in my world. I stretch and bend in ways no yoga class could prepare me for. I’ve lost friends and made new ones, faced judgment and offered it in return. I’ve experienced more in these past three years than I did in the previous 28.
Yet, there’s no title or checkbox for the experiences that have shaped me during this time. My skills may not be marketable, but I can feel my personal growth, like the roots of a mighty tree anchoring me to what truly matters. My husband constantly expresses gratitude for all that I do, acknowledging the challenges and assuring me that we’re doing what’s best. However, no amount of reassurance can erase the glaring three-year gap on my resume—a void that feels like a black hole, consuming my hopes for the future.
I share this not to suggest that motherhood has diminished my dreams; quite the opposite. It has deepened my appreciation for life and transformed me into a better version of myself. I owe so much of who I am today to this journey.
Yet, I grapple with feelings of discontentment that creep in, filling me with anxiety and a sense of being left behind. They distract me from the precious moments with my children, their laughter bringing me joy. It feels like a betrayal to experience these thoughts, a betrayal of a love so profound that the mere idea of losing it overwhelms me.
So today, I choose to reject those thoughts. I refuse to let the pressure of relevance define my worth. Today, I am a mother. Perhaps someday I’ll define myself differently, but for now, I will cherish every moment of this season, measuring success not by financial gain or material possessions, but by the knowledge that I’ve guided my children through another day. This is exactly where I’m meant to be.
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Summary
This article reflects on the challenges and rewards of being a stay-at-home mom, exploring themes of identity, personal growth, and the often-invisible labor involved in parenting. The author shares her feelings of discontent and her decision to embrace her role, emphasizing the importance of cherishing the present moment.