My daughter recently decided it was time to shave her legs. With many of her friends sporting shorts and smooth legs at school, she felt ready. I assured her of my support and offered to help, but I also emphasized that the choice regarding body hair was entirely hers to make. Whether she chose to shave now, later, or not at all was up to her.
She opted to go ahead, and I helped her shave her legs while we sat on the edge of the tub. That was a few weeks ago, and since then, she hasn’t expressed any desire to do it again. Maybe it wasn’t as transformative as she anticipated, or perhaps she simply doesn’t care. Either way, I’m perfectly fine with her choice.
When I was in middle school, one of the key markers of growing up was shaving your legs. It was almost a rite of passage that everyone noticed, and girls were expected to start between fifth and seventh grade. Not shaving was simply not an option for girls at the time.
I didn’t have much leg hair, but I succumbed to peer pressure. If you didn’t have a silky button-up shirt and smooth legs, what were you even doing? I ended up with nicks and the occasional painful burn from hair removal cream. Shaving was not the glamorous experience I imagined. In my preteen mind, I thought that using a razor would magically elevate my popularity and beauty.
Back then, not shaving your legs or armpits was something only countercultural types did. Today, many choose to embrace their natural body hair, and it feels liberating to have that option. I remember my first encounter with hair removal cream; I thought leaving it on longer would yield better results. Instead, I ended up with red, irritated skin.
My social media now showcases women proudly choosing to keep their armpit hair, questioning why they should feel compelled to shave when men don’t. Why did we ever think that removing hair was a necessary practice?
I’m teaching my children that if they feel responsible enough to shave, they can do so, and I’ll guide them to do it safely. But if they choose not to, that’s perfectly acceptable too. They can always change their minds later—or not at all.
This concept of body hair positivity extends beyond grooming choices. It encompasses what our children wear, how they style their hair, and their hobbies—all vital forms of self-expression. As long as their choices are appropriate for the occasion and safe, what’s the harm? Childhood is a time to experiment and discover oneself.
There have been instances where my children were the only ones of their gender in certain activities. For example, my daughter played roller hockey one year, and another child of mine is the only girl in a drumming class. It’s inspiring to see them thrive in spaces traditionally dominated by one gender.
Like many parents, I grew up in a time when girls were expected to play with dolls and shave their legs while boys played with trucks and wore blue. Watching the barriers between boys’ and girls’ clothing and activities crumble has been long overdue. Why did we ever accept such divisions?
I still remember the discomfort of wearing tights during special occasions like Easter. They were hot and itchy, while boys got to wear khakis with pockets for their toys. I want my children to avoid that kind of discomfort.
Body hair can stay, if that’s what makes them feel good. Or it can go. Their reasons for their choices don’t need to be validated or challenged by anyone. Adolescence is a time for fitting in and standing out, and I want them to learn what works best for them. This phase of life is also about setting healthy boundaries and understanding that they don’t need to justify their decisions regarding their bodies.
I hope more parents embrace body positivity—including body hair—and educate their children on the importance of personal choice. Whatever path my kids choose, I want them to understand that they have no right to judge the choices of others. We would all benefit from focusing on our own choices.
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In summary, I’m committed to teaching my children that the choice to have body hair is entirely theirs. Whether they choose to remove it or embrace it, I want them to feel empowered in their decisions. By promoting body positivity and self-expression, we can help them navigate their identities with confidence.