“I used to be someone with a lot of patience — until I became a parent.”
It was a sunny afternoon 16 years ago when my neighbor, a typically easygoing elementary school teacher, confided in me while our kids played outside. “I lose my cool on my kids at least a few times a day,” he admitted, and those words struck a chord. His calm demeanor made his confession all the more relatable. It validated my own experiences of frustration, especially during the summer months when he had to juggle his two daughters while his wife worked.
Before motherhood, I was known for my patience. I vividly remember an afternoon spent on the floor, crafting nearly 100 tiny clothespin dolls for Christmas gifts. I meticulously cut out clothes, sewed them, glued on hair, painted faces, and wrapped each one in tissue paper with ribbons. My back ached, but I persevered because I was patient — with both myself and the stubborn strands of hair that seemed to have a mind of their own.
Fast forward to today, and I can hardly imagine having that level of patience. Now, I rely on Amazon Prime for gifts because my ability to wait has vanished. I used to savor the moments spent in traffic, observing the world around me. Now, hitting two red lights in a row makes my jaw tighten, even when I’m not in a rush. My kids push my limits to the brink, leaving me feeling empty when I’m simply trying to find an old photo or waiting in line.
The chaos at home doesn’t help either. When my children start squabbling or leave damp towels strewn everywhere, it tests my patience. I often find myself picking up their cups from around the house and loading the dishwasher even if they’ve just poured a drink. It’s hypocritical of me to expect them to be patient while my own patience is stretched thin, but I try my best.
Each morning begins with good intentions. I remind myself that nothing is so urgent that I need to lose my cool before 8 a.m. But then, orange juice spills, lunches aren’t packed, and I misplace the car keys after tossing them in the trash with the junk mail. My children test my limits daily, making it hard to stay calm when I’m trying to help them follow a routine.
Even the most patient individuals have their breaking points when it comes to parenting. It’s simply challenging to get little ones to do what you want when you want it done. Grocery shopping with kids is a major ordeal. It involves losing an iPad, unexpected demands for snacks, and the constant need to keep them happy while remaining mindful of your shopping list. By the time you make it to the checkout, you’re running on empty, and patience is nowhere to be found.
I remember a time when I had patience. You probably do too. Parenting can drain that from you, but don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s likely that you’ll rediscover it when your kids are grown. And honestly, when that time comes, you might find yourself wishing for the chaos once again.
Further Reading
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Summary
The author reflects on the loss of patience that comes with parenthood, sharing personal anecdotes of frustrations and the challenges of managing children’s needs. Despite once being a patient person, the chaotic demands of parenting have transformed their perspective. Ultimately, there’s hope that patience can be rediscovered later in life, even if it feels like a distant memory now.