By: J. Taylor
Updated: Sep. 20, 2019
Originally Published: Sep. 20, 2019
My husband often shares stories of his upbringing as one of five siblings—occasionally even six when his stepbrother visited. As he reflects on his childhood, I notice he views it through the eyes of the second oldest child of two young parents who certainly had their share of challenges. Hearing some of his stories makes me feel a mix of sadness and admiration, especially when I think of his mother’s experience. The thought of raising five children, including twins, by my current age is daunting.
I find myself in awe of those who embrace large families. Witnessing parents maneuvering double strollers alongside infant carriers feels almost heroic to me. Anyone with more than two kids deserves a national holiday, in my opinion.
As a mother of two, I’m already feeling the strain of daily life. The stories I hear from others make it clear that adding more children would likely complicate things even further. Here are a few reasons I’m satisfied with our small family:
1. Financial Considerations
The financial aspect of raising a family is a significant factor when determining family size. Providing nutritious meals, safe environments, and quality education can be incredibly challenging. The cost of childcare is another major hurdle, particularly in states without a statewide pre-kindergarten program. For instance, sending one of my children to preschool costs nearly $700 a month! I often wonder how families with multiple kids manage such expenses, especially when considering public versus private school options and future college costs. Fewer kids make saving easier.
2. Easier Access to Help
With two children, it’s generally simpler to ask for childcare assistance from friends and family. While I believe we need to do more to support parents of all family sizes, having fewer children means it’s easier to find people willing to lend a hand when I need a break. In case of emergencies, integrating my two kids into someone else’s routine is far less complicated.
3. Travel is More Manageable
In my pre-kid days, I could be ready to go anywhere in just five minutes. After my first child, that preparation time expanded significantly. Now that I have two, getting out the door requires at least two hours of planning. If I were to add another child, I fear my social life would vanish entirely—car seats, potty breaks, and snacks would be an overwhelming challenge.
4. Quality Time with Each Child
Reflecting on my husband’s childhood, it seems he didn’t have many one-on-one experiences with his parents. While they knew their children well, the close spacing made it difficult for him to cherish those moments. Our kids are three years apart, allowing us to rotate responsibilities and give each child the attention they need. Adding a third child would complicate this dynamic, making it difficult to ensure that both children feel valued individually and as part of the family.
I frequently contemplate our family size. While three children sometimes feels like an ideal number, I find our current arrangement much more manageable. And for now, that’s perfectly okay with me. For more insights on family planning and parenting, check out this resource, and for those considering home insemination, this kit is a great resource. Additionally, for information on female infertility, this support group offers excellent information.
Summary
Deciding on family size is a deeply personal choice influenced by various factors. For me, the financial implications, ease of securing help, the simplicity of travel, and the ability to provide one-on-one attention to my children reaffirm my decision to stop at two kids.