“It’s quite heavy,” the seller on Marketplace messaged me. “You might want to bring someone along.”
“You might be surprised at what I can lift,” I replied.
After checking out her profile to ensure she was a genuine person and not a potential threat, I arrived at her house to check out the oversized chair and ottoman she was selling.
A tip for anyone buying furniture online: the size can be deceiving. This chair and ottoman were massive. I tested the weight by lifting one corner, and there was no way I was carrying that out on my own.
“Um…” she placed her hand on a cast on her arm, signaling her inability to help. “Are you sure you can manage this?”
“I’m confident.”
This wasn’t my first challenge. I had maneuvered hefty furniture into my car before using creativity, determination, and a bit of muscle.
I backed my SUV as close as I could to her front step. With her watching, I rolled the chair out of her home—carefully, of course—since it was in pristine condition. I could feel her disbelief as I awkwardly navigated the chair down her path and into my vehicle, using my foot to angle it just right. The ottoman was light enough to carry.
After paying her the $35, I drove home, repeating the process in reverse. The chair and ottoman fit perfectly in my new space.
Interestingly, moving that chair was easier than some of my past endeavors. Just a week prior, I had salvaged two wooden cabinets from the curb. Measuring six feet tall, these cabinets were nearly as tall as I am at 5’4”. Picture me waddling across a stranger’s lawn, arms wrapped around that enormous cabinet, grunting and laughing as I maneuvered it into my SUV. Who discards solid wood furniture like that?
I’ve moved heavy desks and couches all by myself. While I could ask my ex-husband for help, I prefer to do things on my own schedule. I want to organize my space when I want it done, not when someone else is available.
This new chapter of my life means I rely solely on myself, and I’ve continually surprised myself with what I can accomplish. It’s not just heavy lifting; I’ve tackled numerous challenges. On just my third day in my new home, I found a large dead frog stuck in the track of my sliding door. Removing it wasn’t a simple task. It took me a week to muster the courage, but I finally pried that frog out with a butter knife. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as disgusting as I had anticipated.
Shortly after moving in, someone crashed into our mailbox. I replaced and installed it myself—something I would have likely left for my husband when I was married.
When my ex and I were separating, I worried about managing a household alone. What about all the tasks I thought required a “man’s touch”? Spider removal, gutter cleaning, lawn care, and car maintenance were all on my mind. There’s a stereotype that women aren’t cut out for these jobs due to physical limitations or squeamishness. I even doubted my own abilities. However, being on my own forced me to adapt and find solutions, as I couldn’t wait for someone else to step in.
Living independently revealed to me just how capable I am. I may not be able to lift a heavy desk alone, but I’ve learned to use leverage and roll things into place. Sure, dealing with slimy critters or dead leaves isn’t pleasant, but I’ve tackled those challenges head-on. Give me a tough job, and I’ll rise to the occasion. For tasks I can’t manage alone, I hire help; my lawn care provider does a fantastic job in a fraction of the time it would take me, and I happily pay him a small fee.
It took my independence to realize I’m more capable than I ever believed. If you’re feeling uncertain about your abilities to be self-sufficient, know that you are stronger than you think. You are resourceful, imaginative, and incredibly resilient. My hope for you is that you don’t have to face solitude to discover your true power.
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Summary
Discovering my strength and independence after my divorce has been an eye-opening journey. From moving heavy furniture to tackling unexpected household tasks, I’ve learned that I am capable of more than I ever imagined. Embracing challenges head-on has shown me that I can manage my life without relying on others. If you’re hesitant about your abilities, remember you possess the strength to thrive on your own.