A tragic story emerged last week about a 16-year-old girl who took her own life after being bullied. My heart shattered as I thought about her mother, who thought her daughter was simply going for a walk, only to find her daughter gone forever. It haunts me to think of how deeply this girl must have suffered to reach that point. Did she have the support she needed? Was her family aware of her struggles? Could anything have been done to prevent this heartbreaking loss?
The pain of losing a child is unimaginable, and the idea that this loss stemmed from bullying is both horrifying and unacceptable. Bullying is a particularly sensitive issue in our home, especially since my son, a fourth grader, has encountered his share of bullying. Until last night, things had been relatively calm in that regard.
Out of nowhere, a note appeared at our door, accompanied by a knock.
Dear A,
Hello, we meet again. No offense, but you’re annoying. Learn to make more friends—boys, not girls. Stop acting like a girl. Learn to sing better. Stop talking to girls. We’re coming after you.
After reading it, my son placed it on the kitchen counter. I wish he hadn’t.
When I entered the kitchen for a snack, he handed me the note. As I read it through tears, shock and anger flooded over me. The very girls he had spent the day with had decided to pen this hurtful message to my sweet, kind-hearted boy, who never intends to harm anyone. What prompted them to write such cruel words? Did they want him to feel pain from their remarks? What was their intention? I was baffled because just days earlier, they had been at our house enjoying snacks and laughter with my “girly” son.
That night, I watched him cry, and it triggered an emotional breakdown for me. As I held him close, he said, “I should have known better.” My heart sank. NO. At that moment, my anger ignited, and I’ve been in turmoil ever since. There is no manual for handling bullies, but my husband and I are committed to doing everything in our power to stop this. No child should endure ridicule for simply being themselves. It is 2019— we must do better.
My anxiety about the situation is manifesting physically, leaving me feeling unwell. While my son may not outwardly display his feelings, I worry about the long-term effects this bullying could have on him.
The takeaway is crucial: Teach your children kindness. Encourage them not to write hurtful notes to others. Every child is unique, and discussions about bullying are vital. My son will not be just another statistic.
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In summary, the issue of bullying cannot be taken lightly. As parents, we must advocate for kindness and provide our children with the tools they need to navigate these challenges. We can’t let another child suffer in silence.