Before I became a parent, I thought my life was hectic. I genuinely believed that working 40 hours a week, attending yoga classes, and grocery shopping left little room for other aspirations.
Let’s pause for laughter—go ahead.
Fast forward four years and two children later, and my understanding of being busy has dramatically shifted. From the moment I wake up until I finally collapse into bed at night, I’m juggling work—both to earn a paycheck and to keep my home from resembling a disaster zone. Sure, I find moments to play with my kids, but those moments often get overshadowed by my endless to-do list.
I know myself well enough to realize that a messy home puts me on edge. When the living room resembles a chaotic toy clearance section and I’m stuck in sweatpants because all my favorite jeans are in the wash, I’m not exactly the most pleasant person to be around. Balancing work projects and writing deadlines while my toddler begs me to join him in a superhero adventure leaves me feeling like an imposter. My kids pick up on my stress, which only adds to their anxiety, and I can’t fault them for that.
I’m comfortable with my approach to parenting, but society—particularly those who love to criticize mothers for “not doing it right”—isn’t. These people suggest letting dirty dishes pile up in the sink so I can cherish every moment with my kids. They advocate for quitting my job to be more “present” with them. I can only roll my eyes so far before they get stuck in that position. I often wonder if those seemingly perfect parents can see me sitting here with a beer on the couch, trying to navigate this chaotic life.
Let’s set the record straight: my kids aren’t neglected. My 3-year-old son enjoys full-day preschool while I care for his happy-go-lucky little brother. And while I do spend quality time cuddling and acting silly to elicit that adorable four-toothed grin, don’t be mistaken—my day is not just a series of peek-a-boo games.
As a work-at-home mom, I dedicate significant hours to my laptop, crunching numbers for my corporate job. I also write for my blog, volunteer, prepare meals (or at least that’s how it feels), handle laundry, run errands, and take the kids to appointments. With a supportive husband who’s an amazing dad, I consider myself fortunate. I recognize that many moms face these challenges alone or have to work full-time when they’d prefer to be at home. My heart aches for them, and I admire their resilience. Yet, acknowledging my blessings doesn’t make life any less demanding.
It’s no secret that society imposes a confusing array of expectations on mothers. We receive conflicting advice daily, leaving us drained and perplexed. The reality is that there aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything, but we have the power to choose which tasks to prioritize and find peace in those decisions. We need to trust ourselves to make the right choices for our families and tune out the critics.
My parents both came from challenging backgrounds with limited resources. They didn’t have the luxury of attending college immediately after high school. Instead, they dove straight into the workforce, putting in long hours to make ends meet. My dad managed a grocery store, often working 50-60 hours a week, while my mom, with two kids at home, worked tirelessly in nursing school, ultimately graduating with honors. Despite their exhaustion, they always ensured my sister and I were cared for, driven by the desire to provide us with a better childhood than they had.
They may not have realized it then, but they set a lasting example of hard work and sacrifice that has influenced me profoundly. I want to instill those values in my children, showing them the importance of perseverance and pursuing dreams so that they won’t feel guilty about chasing their own aspirations.
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In summary, navigating motherhood is a complex journey filled with responsibilities and societal pressures. Instead of succumbing to unrealistic expectations, we should embrace our unique paths and focus on what truly matters to us and our families.