Navigating the roles of wife and mother has been more challenging than I ever imagined. It’s that facade we wear, acting like everything is fine when deep down, it’s not. Motherhood is relentless work, and since stepping into this role five years ago, I’ve learned just how heavy that burden can be. While some people grow up witnessing the unequal division of labor in households, I wasn’t one of them.
Transitioning from a carefree college life to feeling unsupported as a wife and mother made me feel like a part of me was lost. Over time, I learned to value being agreeable over being genuinely happy. I’ve become less vocal about my struggles and more willing to just “go with the flow.” Those close to me might view this change as growth, but inside, I realize I’m just another woman conditioned to sacrifice her own happiness.
Then, a few weeks ago, it hit me: I’m done pretending. No more playing nice. No more suppressing my own happiness for the sake of my family. From this point forward, I’ve resolved to prioritize myself, and frankly, I couldn’t care less about anyone else’s opinions.
It’s hard to pinpoint when I became less focused on my own desires and needs. This shift happened gradually rather than overnight. While I recognize that life with two kids and a partner will never resemble my past, I believe evolution should enhance who we are rather than redefine us completely. My former self wasn’t perfect, but it was authentic and understood the importance of self-care.
I’m committed to creating a blend of my pre-mom self and my current self—a version that can nurture both myself and my family without neglecting my own needs. This isn’t an easy task, especially when those around me have either been excessively selfless or outright neglectful. I lack relatable examples in my life or even in the media. Still, I know my choice to invest in myself will ultimately benefit my entire family.
To kick off this “me first” journey, I’m focusing on three key areas: health, social life, and personal time.
- Prioritizing Nutrition
I often get so caught up in caring for my children that I neglect to eat. Today was a prime example; I didn’t have my first meal until after 1 p.m. Not only is this unhealthy, but it also affects my ability to produce milk as a nursing mother and leaves me feeling drained. When I ensure I eat early, my day flows much better. - Embracing Dance
You might roll your eyes at this one, but dancing brings me immense joy. It transports me to another world, filled with love and rhythm. It’s not just about moving; it’s about creating an environment where I can seek joy. More dancing means more nights out, travel, and plenty of celebrations. I look forward to how this commitment will enhance other areas of my life. - Enjoying Solitude
You can probably guess the trend here. Whether dining out alone or catching a movie, time away from the chaos is invaluable. This isn’t just about saving money; it’s about reclaiming my thoughts and energy. These moments allow me to reflect and ensure that my ambitions align with my actions. I refuse to let motherhood stifle my goals.
Many believe that mothers should live solely for their children. I’m determined to chart a different course. These small adjustments can lead to significant transformations. If I’m fortunate, I might even inspire other women in my circle to prioritize themselves.
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In summary, I’m stepping back into my own life, reclaiming my joy and well-being, and I won’t apologize for it. This journey of self-prioritization is essential, not just for me, but for my family as well.