Over the weekend, my 8-year-old daughter was unwell. While it was tough to see her sick, I cherished the chance to cuddle and watch a movie together. Yet, my mind was racing with worries about her returning to school on Monday and the possibility of her siblings catching the illness too.
As a parent, my responsibilities have evolved over the years. Transitioning from a stay-at-home parent to a full-time, mostly remote worker, I often find myself as the default caregiver for sick kids. I still have work obligations, but I am at home to supervise and care for them. When illness strikes, the family dynamics get disrupted, and everything can feel overwhelming. For working parents, managing sick days can be incredibly stressful.
I recognize my privilege in being able to work from home, which allows me to be there for my children when they’re not feeling well. Yes, I have deadlines and meetings to attend. However, I can usually adjust my schedule, even if it’s a hassle, without losing income. I’m also fortunate to have a co-parent who can occasionally rearrange her work commitments to help out during these times.
A friend of mine, Mia Thompson, is a single mother without anyone to rely on when her son is sick. “When my son had a fever that developed into a throat infection for over a week, it was exhausting. I ended up getting sick too, which left me with no energy to work. The longer he stayed home, the more I focused on his needs, and I couldn’t get any work done,” she shared. Unfortunately, this meant she lost income, an impossible situation for a single parent.
Despite having some flexibility, the work still needs to get done, and the pressure to bring in money is constant. The guilt of not being fully present when my kids are sick weighs heavily on me. I would love to indulge in a day of cartoons, naps, and cuddles, but unless that happens on a day off, I find it difficult to embrace the quiet moments my kids crave.
In our fast-paced world, where productivity is measured by hours worked and deals closed, parents are expected to juggle responsibilities at home and at work. When we are at the office, we feel guilty for not being with our kids. If we take time off to care for them, we feel the guilt creeping in. When we try to balance caregiving with work, we still feel guilty. And if we medicate our child and send them to school, hoping they can make it through the day without an issue, we can’t shake that guilt either.
Many parents wish they could keep their kids home without hesitation when they’re not feeling well or need a mental health day. While it’s crucial to keep sick children home to prevent spreading illness, the reality is that many kids catch their ailments from school, as other parents navigate the same juggling act of scheduling and financial constraints.
According to the National Center for Children in Poverty, about 15 million children in the U.S. live below the federal poverty line, equating to 21% of all children. The federal minimum wage has stagnated at $7.25 since 2009, and studies indicate that families typically need double that amount to meet basic living expenses like housing and food. The NCCP estimates that 43% of American children reside in low-income households.
For many, the luxury of paid sick leave or vacation days is simply not an option. Parents often cannot afford to jeopardize their jobs by calling in late or taking time off for a sick child.
Recently, while working at a coffee shop, I noticed a girl who looked about my daughter’s age sitting alone, engrossed in a book and playing games on a worn-out phone. Her mother, who was behind the counter, was clearly working while her daughter occupied herself. It tugged at my heartstrings, highlighting the tough choices some families have to make.
It shouldn’t be the case that making rent or buying groceries hinges on a child’s health, but often, it does—through no fault of the child or the parent.
Having transitioned from years of staying home with babies to having all my kids in school, I truly love the career I’m building; it’s a new venture that requires nurturing. While my career is essential for providing for my children, it is never more important than their well-being. The hustle, long hours, and overwhelming number of projects often feel necessary to maintain the lifestyle I want for my family.
I wish I could keep my kids home and foster a culture of self-care when they’re under the weather. However, our reality is that we’re constantly balancing deadlines with family responsibilities. Sometimes, it means sending kids off to school, hoping for the best, and turning on Netflix while handing them a box of tissues. The bills still need to be paid.
In conclusion, navigating sick days as a working parent is not just challenging, but often feels impossible. The balance between work obligations and caring for children is a delicate act that many parents grapple with daily.