The ongoing pandemic has been incredibly challenging, especially for our children. As the mother of a 9-year-old and a 14-year-old, I often find myself lamenting the normalcy that they should be experiencing. My teenager dreams of hanging out with friends on weekends, exploring the town, and catching a movie together. Meanwhile, my younger son should be enjoying after-school playdates, birthday celebrations, and the thrill of his very first sleepover.
Instead, my boys haven’t had any in-person playtime with peers since March, and I don’t foresee that changing until the pandemic is under control. Thankfully, they get along reasonably well—at least for two spirited brothers. They spend hours engrossed in video games, share countless inside jokes, and occasionally argue like any siblings do. However, the gap in their ages means they both need interaction with peers their own age, and it pains me to think about what they are missing out on socially.
While they are doing their best to adapt, there are limits to their coping mechanisms. My teenager has found solace in online gaming sessions with friends and has even participated in virtual theater productions. His laughter echoes from his room almost every night as he connects with others virtually. However, this is not the teenage experience I envisioned for him. I remember longing for the camaraderie of friends during my own adolescence—there was nothing quite like those late-night sleepovers filled with whispered secrets and laughter or strolls home with a best friend discussing everything under the stars.
I’m even more worried about my younger son. “Virtual playdates” haven’t quite worked out for him, although I remain hopeful. Initially resistant to video chats, he’s started to accept them, but finding other kids to connect with online has proven difficult. The few playdates he has had have not been fulfilling for him. I worry about his emotional growth and hope he is finding enough connection at home and through his online learning environment. I have seen him engage with classmates during virtual lessons, which gives me some hope for future social interactions.
Despite my concerns, my kids will not be having playdates anytime soon—not a chance. You may wonder why I am being so strict. The truth is, the pandemic is still rampant, with COVID-19 cases reaching alarming levels in our country. With the current leadership failing to address the crisis effectively, it feels like my duty to minimize any risk of spreading the virus.
We have a responsibility to protect not only our family but also others in our community. My children can forgo a season—or even a year—of social interactions to help safeguard the vulnerable. They understand this and are learning vital lessons about kindness, morality, resilience, and adaptability during this unprecedented time.
Additionally, the health risks of COVID-19 concern me greatly. While children may generally fare better than adults, the reality is that some have succumbed to the virus, especially those with underlying health issues. Both of my children have asthma, and I cannot risk exposing them to a respiratory illness that primarily affects the lungs. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them simply because I allowed them to have a playdate.
The potential long-term consequences of COVID-19 are alarming, with reports of lasting health issues for both children and adults. Would I want my family to face such challenges? Absolutely not. As much as my kids need social interaction, I will not put them at risk for a few playdates.
If a safe option arose—perhaps if I found a family that adhered to the same precautions we do, with kids my children wanted to play with—I might consider it. However, I don’t currently have that connection in my life. The thought of outdoor playdates with masks and social distancing feels impractical, especially since kids aren’t always great at following those rules without close supervision. Hovering over them while trying to let them socialize? That’s not how I want them to experience friendship.
So, my kids will continue to wait until the threat of COVID-19 diminishes significantly—hopefully with the availability of a vaccine or effective treatments that minimize severe cases. We are prepared to endure this for as long as it takes, even if it means more seasons without playdates. In the meantime, I’m proud of how they are handling the situation, showing resilience I didn’t expect.
One day, this nightmare will end, and their social lives will return. I look forward to the day when my teenager hosts friends for pizza and laughter, while my younger son bakes cookies with his neighbor again. I hope that when they resume playdates, they will cherish those moments even more than before.
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- How to safely arrange playdates during a pandemic?
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In summary, while the pandemic has disrupted my children’s social lives, I choose to prioritize their safety and the health of our community. We will wait for a safer time when playdates can resume without the risk of illness, and I believe this will ultimately teach them valuable lessons.