In a poignant moment, Marcus Thompson was at a café, enjoying some coffee with his young daughter in her stroller when the barista remarked, “It’s rare to see Black fathers with their children.” He followed up with a comment expressing hope that Marcus would remain involved in his daughter’s life. This encounter, where both Marcus and his daughter are Black, reflects a sadly common reality.
Marcus delves into the complexities of being a Black man in America in his TEDx talk, “Racism from the Eyes of a Non-Threatening Black Man.” He shares deeply personal and unsettling instances of racism he has faced, from the first time he encountered the n-word to experiences of rejection based on racial bias. He recalls always striving to be smarter, better dressed, and more polite to gain acceptance from white individuals, stating, “As a Black man in America, nothing seems to make sense—nothing.”
At 46, Marcus lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two daughters, ages nine and seven. He founded the Anti-Racism Initiative, which he describes as a rigorous training program aimed at individuals, children, and corporations. Additionally, he writes a parenting column for various outlets and operates a social media platform called Dads Doing Their Part, which showcases engaged fathers.
His platform began seven years ago with a mission: “I wanted to demonstrate that I’m not an anomaly. There are countless dedicated fathers who are actively involved in their children’s lives, and I aimed to shine a light on them.” He emphasizes the need to highlight fathers of color, countering stereotypes that suggest they are absent or disengaged.
During his TEDx talk, he shares the lengths he goes to appear non-threatening—how he dresses, and even singing popular children’s songs in public to ease the discomfort of those around him. He admits that this constant effort is “soul-crushing” and has led him to consider suicide. As he explains, “As a Black man, I have to constantly be ‘on’—making others feel comfortable to ensure I return home safe to my family.”
He recalls an alarming moment when his nine-year-old daughter voiced her fear that he might be shot, a reflection of the pervasive trauma surrounding Black lives in America. He terms this exposure to violence as “trauma porn,” as society is inundated with distressing images of Black individuals being harmed. He admitted to reassuring his daughter falsely, saying, “Everything will be okay,” despite knowing the harsh realities. “How disturbing is that?” he asks.
For Marcus, fear is a constant presence, whether he’s walking his dog, interacting with white individuals, shopping, or driving. Everyday activities can become perilous due to the omnipresence of racism, as highlighted by recent tragic events. He openly discusses his struggles with depression, expressing hope that other men of color will feel encouraged to share their experiences as well. “Navigating life as a BIPOC in 2020 is incredibly challenging, and we’re all grappling with it,” he says.
In terms of parenting, he strives to protect his daughters from the harsh realities of racism, though he acknowledges it’s impossible to shield them entirely. He reassures them that he is tirelessly working toward a fairer world for future generations and hopes they will look back and recognize his efforts.
Toward the conclusion of his talk, Marcus outlines five actionable steps white individuals can take to combat racism, including standing up for Black colleagues, calling out racism in various settings, understanding the true essence of the Black Lives Matter movement, and raising anti-racist children. He emphasizes the importance of believing Black individuals when they share their experiences with racism. “People often dismiss our truths as if we’re playing a ‘race card’ for sympathy, but that’s simply not the case. We’re sharing our lived experiences, and they should be accepted as truth without skepticism,” he asserts.
You can watch Marcus’ full TEDx talk to gain further insight into his experiences. Also, don’t miss his upcoming children’s book, “See Me,” which focuses on themes of immigration. He underscores the importance of fostering awareness about racial justice and leveraging that awareness to prompt meaningful change. “I’m committed to this fight for as long as it takes. There’s too much at risk to do otherwise.”
Potential Search Queries:
- Understanding racism from a Black man’s perspective
- How to support Black fathers
- The impact of racism on mental health
- Parenting and discussing racism with children
- Steps to become an anti-racist ally
In summary, Marcus Thompson’s TEDx talk sheds light on the unique challenges faced by Black men in America, highlighting the emotional toll of living in a racially charged environment. He calls for understanding, action, and belief in the experiences shared by Black individuals while pushing for a more equitable future for all.