Will Ferrell is known for delivering some of the most memorable lines in cinematic history across films like Old School, Elf, Anchorman, and Blades of Glory, but Step Brothers holds a special place in many hearts. It’s hard to believe it’s been over a decade since we were treated to iconic quotes like “Did we just become best friends?” While we still hold out hope for a sequel featuring Ferrell and John C. Reilly as Brennan Huff and Dale Doback, the prospects seem distant. The pandemic certainly slowed down the film industry, but we’ve gathered the funniest quotes from this 2008 classic for your enjoyment. Just try not to laugh so hard you topple off your imaginary dinosaur. And when you’re finished, don’t forget to enjoy more laughs with quotes from Schitt’s Creek, The Office, Parks and Rec, Seinfeld, and Bridesmaids.
Quotes from Dale:
- “This might sound strange, but for a moment, you looked like a unicorn.”
- “I once took down a giraffe in a wrestling match with my bare hands.”
- “Brennan, that’s the voice of an angel! I can’t even look at you right now; your voice is like a beautiful mix of Fergie and Jesus.”
- “I’m so miserable. I had to wake up at 10 a.m. today.”
- “Dad, what are you doing? It’s Shark Week!”
- “Funny enough, the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
- “You should’ve never let us build bunk beds! It’s a disaster! There’s blood everywhere, Dad! Why would you let us do that?”
- “You and your mother are hillbillies. This is the house of learned doctors.”
- “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You have to pick one to marry, one to kill, and one to sleep with. Go!”
- “Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. Screw you.”
- “Grab your things; we’re heading to my room.”
- “I know you’re married now, but that doesn’t mean they have to live here.”
- “Dad, we’re men. That means we do things like use the bathroom with the door open, talk about women, go on gambling trips, and make our own beef jerky. It’s all ruined now.”
Quotes from Brennan:
- “Last week, I accidentally killed a bee with liquid paper.”
- “When you fall asleep, I’m going to punch you right in the face.”
- “My mom is being devoured by a dog, and there’s nothing I can do about it!”
- “Maybe one day we could be friends, friends who ride majestic, glowing steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”
- “I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”
- “Keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother! She’s a saint!”
- “I refuse to call him ‘dad,’ not even if there’s a fire.”
- “I still can’t stand you, but you have a pretty good collection of adult magazines.”
- “What poem is that? Is it from James Joyce?”
- “I’m going to fill a pillowcase with soap bars and beat you up!”
- “Robert better not get in my face, or I’ll drop that guy!”
Other Hilarious Quotes and Conversations:
- Dale: “Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?”
Brennan: “It’ll give us so much extra space for activities!” - Dale: “I’m Dale, but you must call me Dragon.”
Brennan: “You have to call me Nighthawk.” - Brennan: “Do you want to do karate in the garage?”
Dale: “Absolutely.” - “Today, I witnessed my own son using a bicycle as a weapon.” — Nancy
- “As a kid, I wanted to be a T-Rex more than anything. I would roam the backyard, scaring the neighborhood cats. One day, my dad told me I had to grow up and get a job, but I just faked it and used my ninja focus to slow my heart rate.” — Bobby
- Dr. Doback: “Is this your purse in the freezer?”
Nancy: “Yes… it’s Brennan; he sleepwalks.”
Dr. Doback: “Seriously? Dale sleepwalks too. Check the oven.”
Nancy: (checks oven) “Couch pillows.” - Brennan: “Well, Pan…”
Pam: “No, it’s Pam.”
Brennan: “Are you saying, Pan or Pam?”
Pam: “My name is Pam.”
Brennan: “Pand, there’s a D at the end.”
Pam: “No, there isn’t.” - Manager: (after Dale lets out a loud fart) “Was that a fart?”
Dale: “I’m not sure.”
Manager: “I can taste it. It’s on my tongue.”
Dale: “Alright, I’ll be honest. That was me.” - Dale: “Brennan, you’re alive! Oh my god!”
Brennan: “I know, I’m alive.”
Dale: “You were dead. I saw you die.”
Brennan: “I was faking it. I used ninja focus to slow my heart rate.” - “I want to roll you into a little ball and stuff you up my vagina.” — Alice
- Nancy: “Guys! Guys!”
(both guys wake up and quote their dreams)
Brennan: “I’ll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.”
Dale: “The clown has no penis.”
Nancy: “What kind of dreams are you having?” - “Yeah, I got these from the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s. It’s like time-traveling while masturbating.” — Dale
- Brennan: “Hey Derek, you know what helps with shoulder pain?”
Derek: “What?”
Brennan: “If you lick my butthole.” - “What if Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come onto me? I’m looking good, with a luscious V of hair going down to my ball fro. She takes one look and says, ‘Oh my God, I’ve had the old bull, now I want the young calf,’ and grabs me!” — Dale
- Nancy: “You don’t know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.”
Brennan: “It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering; they were blazing that stuff up every day.” - “Alright, on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t think about it; just do it. One, two, three.” — Dale
Quotes About the Drum Set:
- Dale: “Why are you so sweaty?”
Brennan: “I was watching Cops.” - Dale: “Did you touch my drums with your balls?”
Brennan: “No, I was watching Cops.”
Dale: “Cops doesn’t come on until four.” - Brennan: “I teabagged your drum set!”
- Brennan: “I didn’t touch your drum set, I swear!”
Dale: “I saw your testicles touch my drum set!” - “I’m warning you, if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife.” — Dale
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Summary:
This collection showcases some of the most hilarious and memorable quotes from Step Brothers, a film that continues to resonate with audiences for its outrageous humor and unique portrayal of brotherly love. From Dale’s whimsical thoughts to Brennan’s outrageous antics, these quotes capture the essence of the film’s comedy. Despite the uncertainty of a sequel, fans can still enjoy the unforgettable lines that have solidified Step Brothers as a cult classic.